Letting Go of The Blame Mindset
How to regain your power
Imagine a world without blame. I can’t help but imagine chaos and frenzy, despite the positive consequences. It will absolutely terrify humans to take accountability for their own decisions, all the time. But if we all do it, the world will transform and heal.
But this isn’t about the whole world- it’s about you for now.
Why We Make Decisions
Many times, another person’s actions or inactions will play a part in how we act and feel and the decisions we make.
A terrible boss will prompt you to quit.
A horrible friend will force you to sever the relationship.
Yet, in most cases, despite the negative experience you are faced with, you will make a decision because you feel like it. In truth, there is no one to blame.
It’s likely that your decision to quit your job was not just because your boss was acting in some way but because you’re passionate about another life path and would like to be courageous enough to pursue it.
You may not like to hang out with certain people not because there’s anything inherently wrong with them but because you simply prefer the company of other friends.
Take the previous example of quitting your job — the first scenario is typical, but the second is noble and brave.
How you label your decisions shape your personality.
Are you a quitter or a hero? Same decision- different label. How you label your decisions influence your inner world and create your reality.
If you want to regain your power, label all your decisions as if you were 100% responsible for them. You will feel in charge. That buzz you will feel is more empowering than anything.
The problem with blame
It makes you a victim.* Blame removes you from the capacity of a confident decision-maker into a person whose forced to react to their environment.
Acting from the Blame Mindset takes away your power and autonomy and makes you a reactive person — no matter how right you are.
It’s not that other people are innocent and had or hadn’t played any part in your suffering or injustice. It’s not about whose wrong or right. This is about you- your power.
Do you prefer to be tied to the unpredictable actions and whims of other people? Would you rather be a slave to their good or bad behaviour?
It’s up to you.
Instead of blaming others, make a decision that serves you and aligns with your purpose. Instead of blaming a toxic partner for your low self-esteem, end the relationship and only accept to be in a loving, nurturing relationship.
Blaming Others Destroys Your Personality
You think that blame relieves you from any accountability or responsibility but it’s quite the opposite. You have inadvertently made yourself responsible for your own suffering.
To blame is to suffer.
Stop being a puppet in the play of like. Don’t allow yourself to become a tool that people can use, abuse or discard.
The Blame Mindset will slowly deteriorate your personality. If you believe that everything is everyone else’s fault but yours, you are ridding yourself of the greatest human values: freedom and autonomy.
Your freedom and autonomy are powerful values and tools through which you create the life you desire. Sacrificing them to enjoy a façade of a blame-ridden existence will not bring you joy.
Remember that your environment is only a tiny prototype of the world. You are the ultimate master of your own destiny. Through God’s guidance and the unavoidable workings of the universe, you create your reality.
This is your sign to regain your power by abandoning the Blame Mindset.
*For the sake of this read, I am not talking about vile and abusive examples of victim relationships such as abuse or sexual violence, but feel free to apply the concept to any area of your life you are comfortable with.
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