Life’s (un)pleasant Surprises
Majestic mountains of life
A couple of months ago, I was at work and get a surprise text message from my sister. Our dad had a stroke at a hospital. The first thing one would think of is “Oh my god, I got to get there quickly as possible.
For me, it brought on a plethora of emotions, most of which were negative. I will admit, I do not have the best of relationships with my parents.
I still love them and care for them. Every time I pray, I pray for the best for them. Situation I was in, I don’t ever expect anyone else to be in, not even my greatest enemy.
Shortly after this (a few days later), I finally found the plane tickets necessary to go visit my dad. The reason it took me a couple of days, is that I recently moved, and I had no real financial position to spend over $1000 dollars on a plane ticket, let alone anything else.
After much effort, and despair, I finally found a ticket costing less than 600. I could somewhat make that up down the road, and go into debt now. I can see my dad (still alive) perhaps for the last time.
The journey home
Like many Canadians, I recently moved in order to be able to buy a house. I moved literally halfway across the country to do so.
Canada is the 2nd largest country in the world by land mass. You can imagine how far I have actually moved when I say “halfway” across the country.
This purchase along with the move has left me with depressed financial resources. I have left pretty much everything behind. My life of over 20 years, and my wife’s first home in Canada.
Ontario is where both of my kids were born. It is where my family is. It is where my good friends are.
However, in order to save money, I had to take flights that took pretty much the whole day because I couldn’t get a cheaper direct flight. On the way back, I actually went in the opposite direction for about an hour.
When I landed at my first stop in Regina, Saskatchewan, I get the emergency alert that 2 murderers were loose in Saskatchewan. They are possibly headed towards Alberta (about 5 hour drive from where I was at the time).
This was my journey back to see my (possibly) dying father, and to deal with all the emotional turmoil that entails.
The burdens of emotion
My wife didn’t get to see her father shortly before he died. She just spoke to him a few hours back letting him know, we managed some tickets to come back home. We will see you in about a month’s time.
I remember she was telling me how happy he was to see his little girl come home. A few hours later my brother in law calls wanting to talk to me. He said, “You will need to tell her the bad news, our dad is no more”.
Honestly, I was in complete shock. I didn’t have a clue what to do next. That is something of a very rare occurrence for me. In most emergencies, I am in problem-solving mode almost immediately.
My own emotions were in turmoil, can you imagine trying to comfort her, who is the only daughter of her beloved dad?
This was the emotional turmoil for me on the other end. Despite any relationship issues, the real thought I had was, my dad, will die before I can go see him.
The last memory of him I will have was a fight we had. In truth, I think he just didn’t want me to go so far away from him.
The pleasant surprise
Yesterday my sister calls. She was visiting my dad and he wanted to see me. Despite the fact that I was outside and a bit busy, I had to go aside and speak to him.
The smile he gave was similar to what my son had gave on his first time laughing. It was the expression that a baby gave, before they knew how to express emotional states in a more defined way.
It’s like he is learning to be a person all over again, but has the benefit of his life experiences. His brain was damaged, but is repairing itself by building new pathways. He is healing.
I don’t think I will ever have my old dad back, but it is definitely good to see him up and awake. It is definitely good to see him (at least for now) free of burdens of life. It is definitely good to see him stress free.
I suppose in a strange way, through sickness, God has provided him with relief. When he acts like a baby, I am reminded of how innocent a child is. A child is always completely devoid of sin. Right now, it feels like that’s how my father is, devoid of sin.
This to me was a very pleasant surprise. This to me, is a blessing from God. This to me is a reminder of how life’s downsides, can be part of it’s upsides.
You just have to be able to see it. That is very hard to do while dealing with the negatives. Hindsight is 20/20 though.
