Living Drama-Free — 7 Principles for a Serene Life
In a world brimming with distractions and drama, it’s time to reclaim your peace
Everyone loves drama on screen and on stage but in real life, it is really annoying and exhausting. In this story, I’ll share 7 practical principles to remove drama from your life, so you can live a more peaceful existence and enjoy the little things in life.
1. Focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t
Drama is usually caused by an unclear awareness of what is in our control and what isn’t. As a result, we make decisions and act in ways that may be out of alignment with the things that are actually under our control, which results in unnecessary pain for us.
For example, if someone doesn’t treat you with the consideration you believe you deserve, it can often cause anger or resentment to arise within you. But this anger isn’t caused by the person’s behavior; it’s caused by your belief that they should have treated you differently–and when they didn’t live up to your beliefs, it creates drama.
In this case, you’ve got to understand that the person has done nothing wrong. It’s just a misunderstanding that is based on your belief of what they should have done and should be doing.
2. Know what you want in life, and focus on that
Drama is frequently caused by people who are focused on what they want in life but are not sure how to get it. They often make decisions based on what’s easiest for them at the time, instead of what can best help them toward their goals and dreams.
Because of this, they often end up frustrated and disappointed when they don’t get the things they want, or when the things they do aren’t what they thought.
When you know what you want in life and have a plan for getting it, there’s no room for drama. Because you’ve put your focus on what can be controlled, rather than on what can’t be controlled, you’ll be able to stay calm and peaceful even in the face of setbacks.
3. Don’t take it personally when someone breaks your rules or treats you unfairly
Drama is caused by revenge or harsh judgment around human behavior that happens within an unrecognized context. When we punish people for breaking our rules or treating us unfairly, without taking into account their history, feelings, and intentions, we generate feelings of exasperation that result in harmful drama.
The solution to this is to forgive people who break your rules or treat you unfairly. Forgiving them doesn’t mean you condone the behavior; it just means you recognize that the person doesn’t have the awareness (yet) of how their actions demand a different response from you. They may feel justified in what they’re doing because they don’t understand that it’s actually unfair or inappropriate.
In reality, forgiveness makes you grow internally and people around you tend to respect you more for your soft heart. Letting go of grudges and bitterness will only make your life sweet and with this persona, you will spread positive vibes only.
4. Don’t attach value to people or things that are inherently unimportant
When we attach value to people and things that are inherently unimportant, we find ourselves in a great mess because what people do doesn’t align with our expectations, and thus, we become irritable toward them.
When we start to anticipate how people should behave to be important or validating in our lives, we create drama. But when we realize that people are simply doing their best at the time, without understanding why their actions are causing us pain, then it’s easy to separate ourselves from the situation so we can focus on running our own lives instead of responding to what other people do.
5. Focus on the content of someone’s character, not the surface
The character of a person is an accumulation of their thoughts, words, and actions over time. Because this is what truly defines who they are, it’s important to not get caught up in the surface activities and external acts of others.
When you put too much importance on the superficial events that happen with people (what they say or do), you end up focusing on their behavior instead of who they are. You then compare them to your expectations and beliefs around their behavior without considering who they really are at their core.
When you’re more aware of who they really are, you can help them achieve things by supporting them in their growth.
6. Always look for the benefit before you make decisions
In order to avoid unnecessary drama, make sure that if you’re going to make a decision or take action, it’s always done with a clear understanding of what the potential benefits will be before moving forward. This way, when something occurs that doesn’t fit your plan (or expectations), it doesn’t result in harm to your plans or desires. You can simply change plans or make different decisions instead of choosing to be angry and annoyed at what happened.
For example, if you’re going to get married and have children with a man, make sure that you’ve taken the time to clearly see what benefits having those things in your life will bring for you. If you focus on the potential joy of having those things, then it won’t be as devastating if your relationship ends or your marriage fails. Because you chose that path with a clear understanding of what was possible and what wasn’t, it’s not as painful when the truth is revealed — you just move forward into a new situation.
7. Be willing to forgive someone from your heart
Whenever you start to feel bitterness or anger toward someone, it means that you’re holding on to their actions. Don’t get upset with them because they didn’t do what they were supposed to do, and don’t be upset with yourself for not being able to control them. Rather, give them the forgiveness and freedom you wish they’d give you.
We all have a difficult time forgiving ourselves and others, but when we remember that we’re all doing our best at the time in the ways that we know it’s easier to let go of what happened in the past.
Forgiving someone is not condoning or excusing their behavior. It’s remembering that they’re part of you and that they’re doing their best. You don’t have to agree with them if you don’t want to, but at the same time, you don’t have to get angry or upset about it because of their lack of awareness about the impact their actions have on your life.
This is why the word ‘forgive’ doesn’t mean something negative happens. It means that you are letting go and moving into a place where you are no longer defined by what someone else does.
Final words
As you’ve seen, most of the things that happen in our lives fall into one of the seven categories above, and thus, we create unnecessary drama in our lives. The next time something happens that makes you upset or angry with someone else, instead of focusing on your own reaction to it, try getting curious about how it fits into one (or more) of the above categories.
As you become more aware of what are the real reasons you end up in situations with other people where there’s a lot of drama, you’ll be better able to respond in an appropriate way that brings the change that you seek without creating more fuss and suffering for yourself.
Having more awareness around this will help you better navigate your relationships with other people so you can experience less drama and more peace of mind moving forward.
Thank you for reading this story, and see you again. If you have any thoughts, feedback, or suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment. Until we meet again, may your life be filled with success and happiness.
If you’d like to show your appreciation, you can treat me to a cup of coffee ☕️🙂.
