Living with Fear in the Metropolis
How I Survived Life in Bustling Jakarta
It was August 3rd, 2019, when I finally packed my bags and moved to Jakarta, a vibrant and bustling city in Indonesia. Living in a big city and experiencing a different lifestyle had always been my dream. I was so happy packing my stuff and cleaning up my old room in my hometown, until the day I had to actually move. Suddenly, there was a burst of fear flashing across my face. I thought, ‘Am I going to survive?’
As an 18-year-old girl at that time, dreaming of becoming successful in Jakarta, I was quite “clueless” about what living in a metropolis city would entail. If I had known how challenging it would be, I would have prepared more. Now, at 23, I have a better understanding of living here (though not completely), and I can finally pinpoint what made me so afraid of living in a metropolis.
Living Away from Home
Home is where I feel most comfortable. I grew up with my parents and brother always around, which created a sense of security for me. Living under their protection had created a safety net. However, when I had to leave this familiar environment, I suddenly feared I was no longer safe or shielded.
Hustle Culture
In a very busy city like Jakarta, I feel like everyone is always working on something big to achieve a level of “success.” It has reached a point where people start comparing their achievements to others, leading to a sense of guilt if they are not working as hard as everyone else.
Living here makes me wonder: if I’m not working as hard as they are, will I survive? I worry too much about achieving something significant enough to truly fit into this city.
Networking
Ever since elementary school, I attended the same school until senior high. I met the same friends again for 12 years, essentially circling in the same bubble. When I finally had to engage with a completely different society here in Jakarta, I met people from all over Indonesia with different cultures. Obviously, I had my culture shock moment when I first moved here. I didn’t realize that people here can be so blunt when they talk and very liberal in expressing their feelings.
It was hard for me at first to blend in, but I had to in order to survive. I stepped out of what I called my “introverted” self and started networking. I made a lot of friends and tried to adapt to different social circles, which was challenging for me coming from a completely different culture.
You’re On Your Own
I know that we are not truly alone; we have friends and family who care for us. However, ultimately, we are responsible for our own lives, and we can’t expect others to change us. This is still a fear of mine. I worry that I might always depend on others for aspects of my life because I am not yet entirely comfortable with myself. Observing people in this busy city managing their lives independently makes me wonder: can I be like them?
Safety
Working in a large city like Jakarta has forced me to commute extensively. Since I don’t have my own car yet, I rely on public transportation to travel around. Most of the time, I use online services and trains. Fortunately, trains have women-only carriages, so I always try to arrive early at the station to secure a place in that carriage.
However, aside from that, riding public transportation alone at night as a woman is always scary. I have to wear clothing that covers and a mask to avoid being seen as “inviting.” Hearing news about sexual harassment and crimes on public transportation makes me feel unsafe every time I commute.
So the question is, how did I manage to “survive” living in the metropolis?
I believe that being exposed to a completely new environment gives you the responsibility to learn about their culture and adapt accordingly. That was precisely what I did. I made friends with people here and asked about how things usually work around here. I tried to learn and behave accordingly.
In addition to that, I also tried to envision my goals for living here in Jakarta — what I want to achieve, who I want to be, and how I can reach those goals. When I have a clear vision of what I want to accomplish, navigating the hustle culture in the city helps me stay calm when I start to feel overwhelmed about keeping up with others. If I know what my goals are, then other people’s achievements won’t really matter to me.
Last but not least, I tried my best to stay connected with my family and friends from my hometown. Even though we are separated by distance, we are blessed with technology that allows us to talk over the phone. I get to share my anxieties with them and still receive the love and support I need, even from far away.
I know that maybe some of you who read this article may have had the same experience as I did, moving away from home to a completely different cultured city. I may not be a professional in the area (because I broke down several times), but I just want you to know that you are not alone. It may be uncomfortable at first, but once you adapt even more, I believe that you can survive.
