The Simple Mindset Shift That Lowered My Expectations
and why it’s for the best
I looked at my first writing draft.
And my heart sank. It was messy, basic and full of redundant sentences. To be honest, I hated it. And I hated myself for writing it. The inner mean girl kept screaming, “You are terrible”.
Oh boy, did that sting!
The next few days, I struggled more. I’d type a sentence, undo it, and type again. And with every deleted letter, my confidence dropped a little.
I wished to write the perfect sentence, the perfect word, and a perfect post the first time I published online.
Guess where it got me?
The month-end with no work to show and a bruised self-esteem.
And it hit me…
What’s the point of crushing myself under pressure?
Demanding, daunting expectations
It’s natural to want the best in everything.
It gives you a sense of purpose to step out into the world. In fact, clear and specific intentions help you achieve goals, set boundaries and create healthy relationships.
But, if not managed well, high expectations force you to ignore your limitations.
The demand to be more and flawless is never-ending. And with rising stress, you judge yourself on how you cope with it.
Take for instance, when you fail to keep the house spotless or run late on the extra commitment you made at work, you doubt your capabilities. Plus, you feel deeply disappointed when others don’t match your exact idea of them.
The question to ask is if you’re always chasing better, when are you appreciating what you have at the moment?
Very few people think about it because usually, we’re busy focussing on what we lack. We rarely pause to be grateful for our growth and blessings.
And in the end, it boils down to this:
You try to control every aspect of your life to meet unattainable standards.
But, you cannot control everything
It feels safe to have a sense of authority over the outcome.
Somehow, the idea is, that you’ll be happier, more fulfilled, and more successful if you can regulate every tiny detail. Whether it’s controlling your progress, emotions or the way people see you.
This takes away the joy of the journey. This takes away the joy of growing together.
Instead, life becomes a race where you expect everyone, including yourself to secure the first position.
But, as they say:
The only way to win at life is to enjoy it.
Sometimes, you need to let go. People will be different from what you imagined. You’ll struggle while learning a new skill. There’ll be days when you’ll not be as productive as you think.
Imperfection is as true as your heartbeat.
And that’s alright
Consider this, maybe, I will never write a perfect article.
Maybe, I will never achieve everything I hope for.
Perhaps, because I know the moment I achieve a target, I will strive for more. There will be more shots to take and better to become.
Yes, it’s a scary idea.
But, you know what?
It’s liberating to let go of the pressure.
There’s freedom in going through the process as it’s meant to be— one step at a time. That’s what I am doing, releasing myself from the expectation to be an overnight expert.
It doesn’t mean you should compromise your potential. It means becoming mindful of the beliefs you keep.
As I absorb this thought, I feel lighter.
The biggest realisation for me has been that while having expectations is human, it’s important to let go of those that make you miserable.
Tell me in the comments, what you think about keeping sky-high expectations.
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