Maybe You Need to Start Saying No!
NO! These two letter words have been pivotal in my journey in the past year because I have said them a lot.
When I watched Shonda Rhimes’ Ted Talk years ago about her year of saying Yes to everything, it wasn’t a new concept. I don’t know where I picked it up but I sure learned to say yes to the things that scared me. I said yes when my friend walked into my room in my first year of University, asking me if I wanted to join this student group where we could speak in public, I said yes to many more things after that. But where do you draw the line? When does saying yes to everything that scares you become saying yes because of the fear of missing out?
When you are young and starting, you are asked to say Yes to a lot of opportunities, even when you are not sure you can do it, say yes and go figure out how to do it, say yes to every opportunity that comes your way because you never know the opportunity that’ll give you your break. And boy did I say Yes? I kept saying Yes to many opportunities to the point it started taking a toll on me mentally and physically. You say yes because of the fear of missing out on an opportunity, you say yes because you don’t want to be left out, and you say yes because maybe this one thing is what you have been looking for.
What I found is saying yes to many things can lead to a lack of focus on the things that truly matter. You find yourself in a non-stop loop, trying to balance like a juggler. Imagine juggling your life and career without a break for years, you have to be alert all the time, keep track, and be on the lookout while still trying to be good at what you do.
It is exhausting and to get out of this loop, you need to start saying NO. When an opportunity presents itself, take a deep breath and analyze why you want to say yes, is it out of fear of not missing out? Out of some imaginary competition?
Saying No might be all you need to turn things around in your life because saying no means you have more time and when you consciously make time, the important things you are meant to do start showing up. You give yourself the opportunity to focus on one thing or a few things.
When you start saying NO, you start to call back your energy from places and people that take up your brain. You start detaching from the expectations that have been thrust unto you.