Misreading Can Be Entertaining
(I know, I know, I’m easily entertained.)
Before we get to misreadings, let’s look at famous misspeakings, like Spoonerisms, a slip of the tongue where the initial consonants of words are accidentally juxtaposed in a funny way. It’s named after the Oxford don William Archibald Spooner who was famous for his misspeakings, such as “three cheers for our queer old dean!” (dear old queen), “is the bean dizzy?” (is the dean busy), and my favorite, “you have hissed all my mystery lectures and you have tasted the whole worm!” (You have missed all my history lectures and you have wasted the whole term!)
Then there are mishearings, called mondegreens, like hearing “there’s a bathroom on the right” instead of “there’s a bad moon on the rise” in “Bad Moon Rising” by Creedence Clearwater Revival, or “scuse me while I kiss this guy” instead of “scuse me while I kiss the sky,” in “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix, and my favorite, “well since she put me down I’ve got owls puking in my bed” instead of “I’ve been out doin’ in my head,” in “Help Me Rhonda” by the Beach Boys.
There isn’t an interesting word for misreadings, and I can’t find any famous examples, but I have one of my own. Last week, while reading Brenda Ueland’s If You Want to Write, in a section on inspiration, I thought I saw:
“You will never be working from grim, dry wallpaper again.”
And my brain went off into a tangent, “it’s dry in the corners where no people are because you’re a wallflower, or your crayons are all dried and cracked and so you can’t write on the wall anymore, hmm, interesting imagery, I wonder what she really meant,” when my brain finally processed what my eyes actually saw, which was “will power,” not “wallpaper.” But, I don’t know, I kinda like the idea of grim, dry wallpaper. You know, like your writing shouldn’t be like those nasty ’50’s kidney-shaped designs; it should be like Max Factor or delicately scented Japanese grasses or elaborate Spanish tiles.
Since misreadings don’t have a name yet, maybe I’ll call them wallpaperisms.
