Mixing & Matching In Love…Hmmm!
Is the discussion that important —
“I Will Never Understand Interracial Dating.”
The above title by Kennardo James (whose writing I’m really enjoying) centered around a bit of a robust ‘tit for tat” on Twitter amongst a couple of people, and Kennardo was privy to it and wrote a great piece around it, with the subtitle…
“Black women have an open and honest conversation about interracial dating on Twitter.” — Kennardo James
Kennardo asked for some conversation from other writers around this article
This is my response to Kennardo’s article —
“Well !! You’ve got a can of worms here my brother! I admire your courage. I run Cultural Sensitivity and Awareness trainings through an anti-bias/anti-oppression lens. This conversation is certainly not exhaustive…I wonder if I have the strength! LOL!
Multigeneration & intergenerational conditioning
“Multigenerational and intergenerational conditioning gets passed on in a lot of ways via forefathers and ancestors, on some level. We weren’t there and it’s not your fault or mine but in the 21 ST Century, we can do something about it!
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” — James Baldwin
This is what I tout in my trainings and on my video podcast — “It’s not your fault or mine but together we can do something about it.”
BIPOC people, (most of them) have been assimilated upon trauma historically. These people tend to think very differently about themselves and may not be aware of it. Two streams of thought, two social identities. The very interesting concept put forward by W.E.B. Du Bois, social reformer.
Assimilated and conditioned to intentionally have a specific mindset, for not only hundreds but thousands of years.
It may actually seem logical, though it may be inherent to think a certain way in the 21 ST Century when it comes to mixing and matching in love.
In the words of Rodney King “Can we all get along.” Those positive narratives are very encouraging indeed. However, we can’t fix what’s wrong unless we know what’s wrong. Knowing what is wrong is in the past.
Hate those medical forms !! Don’t you?!
…but they give our physicians important clues about what is going on with our health. This is because many diseases run in families. They want to know your personal history and your family history— So you must go back into — THE PAST!!
The past —
The past is a wonderful place, and it tells so much about our behaviors and choices in the future. We don’t want to stay there but so many answers to our future are back there.
The fact is, multigenerational stuff that was passed on to any people is operating in the descendants of those people..RIGHT NOW!!! As you are reading this story.
We may consider taking a real look at the past sometimes or for a time. Perhaps to close some of that disconnect by confronting dissonance and come back into the 21 Century aware of our unawareness. The alternative is further assimilation as we may continue to make uninformed and disconnected choices.
No fault of our own! however, closing some of that multigenerational disconnect gives us the privilege of looking at all people. Perhaps a look at our nation in relationship to other nations. Which in some ways can be very much like looking at ourselves.
We look at our history so we have knowledge, truth, and historical traction. then we go back into the 21 ST Century and endeavor to honor that knowledge. We can have freedom because of that knowledge and sustainability.
We are then empowered and free to make informed decisions as individuals or as a group or both.”
All decisions including mixing and matching in love
The decisions we make a lot of the time have everything to do with what was passed on to us. Thinking logically about that doesn’t void what we manifest via epigenetics and in the intimacy of our own hearts and lives.
It’s much stronger than us and unless we tap into our unconscious unawareness we will not become aware that we are unaware. That’s the beginning.
This must be done individually and collectively so we can look at where we came from. Then follow the trail or the history looking at how we got here today. We may not achieve true freedom and awareness otherwise.
Concluding…
Learning how to, or if to, mix and match in love is indeed a very important conversation.
The conversation is paramount, but knowing our backstory, and knowing the truth is what will give ultimate freedom as we marry, copulate and pass things on to the next generation
We didn’t just show up here in the 21 ST Century. Understanding our history and the historical agenda…whatever that may mean to you and me. This is crucial as to why we show up, how we show up in the 21 ST Century.”
Thank you for reading!
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