More Than Just a Fabric: What Clothing Has Something To Do with My Confidence
Different people seek different ways to make themselves feel confident. For me, it’s through clothing.
Ever since I entered university, which was the first time I knew how insecure feels like, I find myself struggling with my confidence. It was more like how I was afraid about how people would perceive me. Thoughts such as, “Do I give off a bad impression to the new people I met?”, and “What did they think of me?” were filling most space in my mind.
I was slowly trying to figure out how can I feel confident, at least with my appearance first.
Now, we all know Pinterest is the place where people find inspiration for many things such as house inspo, makeup inspo, outfit inspo — anything, you name it. The time I realized I don’t just like looking at clothing but also love how it makes me feel about myself was when I started scrolling Pinterest more ‘mindfully’. My imagination started playing whenever I saw an outfit I liked, how would I look if I dressed like that? Am I gonna look good in that color? Will these pants look good on me?
From there, I started listening to podcasts about fashion, watching videos on YouTube about fashion, or watching YouTubers who include fashion in their videos. Through looking at different outfit styles, I eventually found mine. I know what I like and what I don’t like, I know what looks good in me and what doesn’t.
Before I realized it, I found a way to work on my confidence, and dressing up was one of the answers.
You might be wondering what clothes have something to do with confidence or how it helps you perceive yourself. Does it connect to your identity?
The first time I discovered that there is a connection between clothes and confidence was through reading journal articles for my thesis references. I found out that people (mostly women) develop a connection with the clothes they buy because of how it makes them feel when they wear them. From one of the research I read, the result shows that clothes contribute to people’s mood; whether it is the color, the shapes, or material.
To give an example, as someone who is living in a tropical country where most of the time I am surrounded by hot weather, the first thing I notice when choosing an outfit is the material. If the material gives off a stuffy feeling then I am not gonna buy or wear it because obviously, it’s going to be hot and sweaty for me. Wearing an outfit with comfortable material will put me in a good mood for the rest of my day because it doesn’t give me stuffy feelings when I wear it, and of course, I am going to be comfortable while doing my activities.
Moreover, I also think fashion has to reflect yourselves and can help you communicate your identity. So, not only makes you look good but it can be used as a tool to express yourself.
Talking about identity, I am going to give you another simple example. From my perspective as a Muslim, being a Hijabi is a way to show that I am a Muslim and I feel deeply close to my religion when I’m wearing my Hijab. It is a part of me and I will feel less of myself without it. I see hijab as a form of protection and a commitment to my faith. I often read articles about many Muslim women in the West who are experiencing the same as me. They have a strong connection with the Hijab because wearing it is their way to communicate their identity to the public. People will automatically think, “Oh, she’s a Muslim.” if they see a woman with a Hijab. To add more, in the article written by a Muslim woman living in the West, she sees hijab as a way to express her faith, feminism, and a celebration of who she is. The Hijab also brings peace and empowerment for herself.
That is just one of many examples to show how clothing can be more than just a fabric that protects our body from heat and cold.
Moving on, a while ago I listened to Emma Chamberlain’s podcast where she talks about her ‘unsolicited fashion advice’. In that episode, she said to trust your gut when choosing an outfit. Along the line, she also said:
“Don’t choose an outfit based on external sources. Your guts will tell you two things: whether or not the outfit feels like you and whether or not you’re comfortable in the outfit. The perfect outfit is physically and mentally comfortable. Physically in a sense that your clothing fits in the way that is comfortable for you, physically in the sense that you’re showing as much yourselves as you want or covering as much as you want. And mentally you’re expressing the side of yourselves you’re excited to express and it feels like a representation of you that makes you feel comfortable and confident.”
Concluding with what she said, to feel confident in your outfit, comfort is the most important thing you should pay attention to.
To feel comfortable in the clothes you are wearing, choosing an outfit that feels like you the most, in the color you’re most confident in, and in the clothes that are suitable for your body type will help you enhance your self-confidence.
Moreover, for me first impressions are important. By dressing up nicely, you will give yourself a good first impression and also an act of respecting other people. You wouldn’t feel good if you showed up on a date wearing a beautiful dress and your partner didn’t even put an effort into their appearance, right?
I found myself dressing up in an outfit that made me feel comfortable and confident about myself. Not only when I am wearing the clothes, but the act of planning an outfit can boost my mood. Besides that, discovering what style I like, what color matches my skin color, what kind of clothes suit my body type, and so on — all of this is a part of me building confidence around myself. It’s a form of helping myself to be better, to seek value within myself, and to express who I am as a person.
At the end of the day, I dress up not because I want to be the center of attention in public (quite the opposite, I hate being the center of attention), but for myself. Even though I am still a bit afraid of what people will think about my outfit, I am trying to throw those thoughts away and stop caring about it.
If it makes me feel better about myself and can actually boost my confidence, then why should I care about anything else?
