My BIGGEST FEAR, and Why It’s Irrational
Let me go ahead and make this clear; there are obviously bigger threats to my being that I am aware of!
And none of those things ever come with the same type of fear that this one thing summons in me. This one brings upon a dropped stomach and a scream out to whoever will come save me.
It’s gonna seem silly and ridiculous, but here I am, and here it is…
Cockroaches.
I shiver at the thought!
It’s the legs, the crawl, the sheen of their gross nasty disgusting wings. It’s the way they appear out of nowhere, on the ceiling, under items, and in places I frequently sit!
And my room somehow gets them more than any other in the house. I’ve banned food and drink and the dog isn’t allowed in here- and yet this is a fan favorite to them.
LUCKILY FOR ME, and I will hope I don’t eat these words, but as of recent there has been far less of them! There’s been plenty of other bugs, but I can handle those. (Assuming the roaches don’t hear this.)
It isn’t just regular roaches though that promoted this fear- It’s the inch and half long Palmetto Bugs. They’re not the kind you just squash with a flip-flop and move along!
I keep a decorative katana (sheesh) beside the bed for when these monsters come around. It gives me length away from them because I’m scared to get near them after having so many terrible encounters of them. I need to sharpen it actually though, because it honestly just does more squashing than slicing (yuck.)
One of the first main rounds with one of these beasts was at around 2 AM. My cat who sleeps through the night on the bed suddenly was preoccupied with digging around in blankets on the floor. I get up, tired and half asleep, to see what he’s up to, and I pull up the blankets to find the most monster looking roach I think I’ve ever seen in my life. It had to have been two inches long, I swear. This no Fishermans tale!
I toiled with this thing for what felt like hours that night, but it was probably a ten minute encounter. It hid, it ran, my cat wasn’t very helpful, and I eventually killed it with the actual sword. Genuinely one of the worst experiences ever. I don’t think I actually slept that night, out of the fear that there could be a roach in my bed and I wouldn’t know it.
Ever since, I’ve been paranoid about checking blankets and shaking them out and doing “roach checks” along thee walls and ceilings because I never know when one could be lurking…
There’s been so many of these types of experiences. One night recently even, I lost a roach behind furniture and couldn’t find it again, so I decided to pack up my blankets and sleep in a whole different room of the house.
If family is around, I yell out for somebody braver than myself to come help me.
The sword can only do so much, and I’m not very brave.
But maybe it’s not actually so irrational..?
They’re seriously disgusting, they carry diseases, why do they run like that??? I’ve got plenty of reason to be scared out of my mind over them, as the little La Cucaracha song blares in my adrenaline and fear filled brain during my many encounters.
All I can hope from sharing all this, is that the roaches don’t hear it. They LOVE to appear when I least expect it, and it has been a little while.
And I can only hope that there isn’t a roach watching me at this very moment, as I sit and type away… Check your surroundings, folks!
