My Bucket List Was All About Ticking Things Off
Now it’s about living
We live in the hope that one day we will accumulate immense wealth, that we will tour the world and shop from premium fashion brands and don expensive outfits. We will get our dream jobs, drive our favorite cars, and own lavish homes. We will dance our way through good hair days and our weight will continue to fall in the fit category. We will marry the best-looking humans and our children will idolize us. They will score the best grades. And life would be perfect.
As we grow older, our dreams take bigger shapes. Sometimes, what we cannot have now becomes a trophy to be achieved one day. Gradually, our wants become our wishes and make their way to our bucket lists.
All of this has happened to me. All of this is still happening to me.
As the year draws to an end, I sit reminiscing of the olden days. I am revamping my dreams tonight, thinking what is it that I really really want? What is it that I am yet to achieve?
At the tip of my tongue, I have all the conventional answers as though a product getting manufactured on the assembly line of my brain. But I refrain from writing those thoughts. If they come to me so easily like a lesson memorized by heart, are they even my own?
Plus, this year I feel differently about my dreams.
I grew up writing a lot to myself. The other day, I read my bucket list from 20 years ago. In my teens, I was having a ball at descriptive writing. The list is not elaborate but has a detailed agenda of what I wanted to do.
It talked about traveling, learning foreign languages to converse across cultures, learning to cook new cuisines, and walking on the streets, simply observing the flow of life. My bucket list from 2003 includes a description of a home that I would purchase; has details of the wall colours, aesthetic corners, and what the seating would be like in the living room. It includes learning to bake. The entire home feels warm with the aroma of freshly baked cookies being relished under dim lights on cosy evenings. It includes descriptions of a dog I would get, who (it seems) has a brown patch on one eye and bent ears. His name is Coffee and he has round black eyes.
This is from a forgotten journal.
Guess what! In 2023, I do own a home, I have a TV-less living space to encourage more conversations, and I did get a dog. It is a manifestation of sorts.
I am overwhelmed to meet myself as the writer of this bucket list. The clarity of my thoughts surprises me and channels my thinking.
On the contrary, my present bucket list is all about ticking things off, buying expensive gadgets, and collecting trophies, pictures, and souvenirs. But as a child, it was all about learning, growing, experiencing, and living in the moment.
I like me better from that era and I am taking notes.
My revised bucket list now has mind maps and plans, details, and most importantly, a purpose. It reminds me that dreams are more than items on a list. They have a life and a whole world inside of them.
Moreover, the list is no more part of a closed journal, but up on the pin board. It includes the feel of the cool breeze by lakes, camping on winter nights, journaling to practice writing, a whole lot more…and finding the brown eye-patch doggy (from 2003).
With the approaching year and wonderful experiences,
Cheers!
