My dear future daughter, Here are 4 Life Lessons I am Saving for You
Dear baby girl,
Somewhere in the corner of this world, you exist and I wait here for the right time to meet you.
Or you have made the choice to enter this world through my womb.
I leave it to you and destiny to decide that.
As your mother I am waiting to give you a million happiness, to shower you in wonders and joyful things I had the experience to see.
With that here are the 10 Life Lessons I want to share with you:
#1 Respect people for who they are, not fit for how old they are
People earn respect through their actions.
Age is no assurance of a mature mind. Trust your instincts and value people for what they show you.
Never persuade yourself into putting people who do not deserve it on a pedestal.
#2 We as women carry generational pains but I promise we are getting better in healing it
A part of our existence brings in the pains, shame and suppression our great great grandmothers had endured.
It could manifest in the struggle to accept ourselves, in speaking up for ourselves and believing all that culture has set for us to be the ultimate truth. And basing our worth on it.
When situations like these present themselves, Fear will unleash all its power to hold you back.
The strategy — allow the fear to wash over you, embrace conflict over being the “good person”, and stand in your ground.
It takes years of practice, you have me by your side.
All I want you to do is to identify what’s your truth and live it.
#3 Love Animals, Please!
If the only thing I ask as a mom it will be this — you are going to grow up with a very loving furry family, just give back .005% of the love they shower on you.
I would totally support you if I didn’t see them through my eyes but harming them is a big no.
They are my children as much as you are.
#3 You set the direction of Your Inner Compass
You owe no one nothing if it doesn’t feel 100% right to you.
Saying no is your right.
Nothing, I repeat nothing in this big wide world is worth altering your value system — Not for your boyfriend, your school best friend, not me.
If your body feels uneasy, trust it. Never fight it.
Give the benefit of doubt to your intuition before giving it to anyone else.
#4 What is A Strong Woman
I grew up in a mostly loving but inherently dysfunctional family.
My mom always said we come from a generation of strong women.
Life happened and I had to raise my mother more than she was a wonderful mom to me.
Sacrifice for your dear ones is celebrated in our culture and I was happy I had the bandwidth to step up as a child — In retrospect, I see how messed up I was.
It took the best part of my late 20s and 30s to live my childhood, notice the trauma and enter the healing journey.
So,
I don’t want you to equate strong women with being a fighter, with putting your loved ones before yourself. There is no award for it.
I want you to write your definition for strong.
To make peace with yourself, filling your cup before you pour into your loved ones is a sign of strength.
Choosing your battles is a sign of strength.
Walking away quietly to protect yourself is strength.
I am sure our great grandmothers are smiling as I write this.
We honour their sacrifice by cherishing ourselves first, writing what our rules of right are and passing them forward.
#4 Knowledge is your Biggest weapon
Against a society with changing rules,
Against a loving relationship that can take a dark turn years later,
Against a mother who you realise never loved you as much as you wanted.
Yes.
The financial independence that education gave is what changed the rules for women like me.
It gave us the power to walk out of toxic marriages, to stay away from our caretakers who never valued us, to get a seat in workplaces, to choose our lifestyles and the freedom to give back to society when we can.
Being informed and educating yourself is a lifelong process.
Whatever you choose in life make sure you give it your all!
Final Thoughts
If nothing resonates with you, I just ask this — never let your sense of wonder be taken away. Keep seeking answers — you might end up answering them throughout your life.
As much as it’s a cruel, unfair world you are entering there is a lot of kindness, creativity that is pure magic, people who show you how deeply you can be loved unconditionally and dogs, cats and butterflies beckoning you into their pristine world.
I was blessed enough to find a few of them.
I am sure you will do too!
