“My Dog Passed Away And I Don’t Want To Get Another One”
But why?
I vividly remember the morning I turned 12.
I was about to get off the train that had brought me back to the city after 10 days of trekking in the Himalayas. The train slowed down and before it halted, I had already spotted two excited pair of eyes waiting for me!
Within a minute, I now saw what I had missed before. My parents were not alone. A timid little puppy nestled peacefully in my father’s arm. He looked like a wizard flying on a broomstick, with its little tail hanging low behind its tiny pink paws that spread across a rather huge arm.
I held the puppy and he loved me instantly.
Our journey began then. For 17 long years, Bruno, our dog, brought immense happiness and love to our family. I finished school, graduated, got married and all along Bruno stayed by my side. Every phone call was about him, every picture with him, his birthdays were a festival and all the festivals were a reason to feed him homemade sweets. And then one day, Bruno got old and died. By 17, most dogs lose their vision, they are unable to run or walk or jump. They need extreme care and love. Our touch is their only support. Gradually they eat lesser than before, lose interest in treats and sleep a lot. One day, they pass away. If you are lucky, they cross the rainbow bridge naturally. Sometimes, the vet advises families to help their pets cross over to release them from pain.
For any family, the whole of their pet’s life is a long journey. And being with them especially in their old age is supremely important. I personally experienced and believe if a pet chooses to pass away in your arms or in your presence, it is because you mean a lot to them. It is an honor.
This happened to us too. We decided to euthanize our dog because he lost control of his body and suffered for days. He struggled to move, but he would squirm on the floor with no voice left in his throat. When you see someone suffering endlessly, you reach a stage, where you wish them gone. In his last moments, we kissed his soft little head and thanked him for his wonderful existence. The vet injected his body first with a sleep drug and then the final one. He completed the job like a chore and declared, “He’s gone”. The vet left and we remained by Bruno’s body. It is the world’s toughest moment. Silence in the house, toys in a corner and a leash left for no one. It’s a physical pain to go through.
We survived and we learned to let go of his belongings. We fed strays, looked at his photos and thought of him in our happy moments. A few years later, I started to crave for a dog’s company again, but I couldn’t get myself to bring a dog home. I was far too scared for the same things to happen again, the commitment of years and the pain of losing this little child in the end.
I still craved and we finally did get a new fluffy soul home.
Today, my heart is full with all the love I have received from Bruno earlier and now with Sparkle.
Sparkle is the cutest child ever and can’t help but there is always comparison. Bruno was wise, while Sparkle is only food-wise. Most of him is crazy.
I am glad after all, that we have him, and I know that we are destined to be blessed with animals in our home for years and years. Had I held on to the fear of losing, my heart would not have opened again.
I wonder why do death and loss turn our hearts dry? I wonder why do we hesitate to feel love again? Is it animals and their passing or is it our selfish desire for them to keep living?
Life is a circle of birth and death, so why should we limit love when one life ends?
But experience is the biggest teacher, and we learn only when we are ready.
In memory of all pets and strays who were loved and have crossed to the other side. In awe of all lovely floofs, that are around us and yet to find us!
