My First Drive-By Funeral Procession
This is not a good time to die.
My girlfriend and her husband were married for 46 years. They have 2 grown children and 4 grandkids. Her husband did have some health issues. He was diagnosed with COPD about 5 years ago but recently was diagnosed with lung cancer. A couple of the worst diseases to have during this pandemic. Up until a week ago, he was doing well, mowing the lawn painting the foyer, etc.
About a week ago, he started feeling bad, tired, and achy. When things didn’t improve in 24 hrs, his doctor put him in the hospital. After a couple days of running tests, they diagnosed him with pneumonia. They ran a test for COVID-19, but it came back negative. That evening the hospital called his wife, saying they were sending him home in the morning. She went to bed, feeling like things were looking better. She expected he would eventually die of lung cancer but not a virus.
In the morning, she got a call saying they had run another virus test, and this one was positive. He wasn’t going to make it another day.
She hadn’t seen him in several days. Their only communication had been by phone. Because of the pandemic quarantine, she had not been allowed to visit often or stay very long. She was hit with the news not only of his impending death but now she had been exposed and needed to quarantine for 14 days.
The nurse held the phone up to his ear, and they cried together. He lamented that he had not taken the time to show her how to take care of the bills or where the title to the cars was kept. Within 2 hours, he was gone. Died alone except for the attention and kindness of the nurses and staff.
This story is all too common at this time. Many of you know people who have passed in similar circumstances. But that fact doesn’t make it any easier to bear.
Our natural instinct is to comfort one another by gathering and hugging and sharing stories. We can only do that virtually now. But the families need closure, an event that signals the passing and allows them to move forward. But who knows when they may be able to hold a traditional memorial.
So we are improvising.
As a show of support for the living, we jump in our cars and drive by the house with signs flapping, horns honking, and waves to show our love and respect for our friends.
There were 50+ cars in our procession. While we were protected by our vehicles, we shouted to the family, sitting in their driveway, throwing kisses and shouting well wishes. It felt good to be able to do something to recognize his time on earth.
This is really a strange situation we find ourselves in right now. There is an invisible enemy out there that we cannot see or fight except to abstain from contacting one another. Not a lifestyle we are accustomed to. But we will learn from this experience, and some good will come out of it. Maybe it will be a better understanding and appreciation for our family and friends.
My Recommendations
Since we are all stuck at home, now is a good time to have these conversations before the next devastating event hits us.
Whether you are single or in a relationship, help your spouse, partner, sibling, or children become familiar with the finances and legal documents that bind your family.
Let your loved ones know what your last wishes are. If you can’t talk about it, write it down and leave it in a place where it will be found or with a lawyer.
Draw up a will if you have not already done so. You can do this online now. Some states even recognize a document written by the deceased but not formalized. Or make a video on your phone outlining your wishes.
The people left behind are often so emotional and grief-stricken that it is hard for them to put those feelings aside and address more practical matters. Make it easier on them, so they don’t have to guess about the answers.
I wanted to end this on a more upbeat message, but it is hard. I have lost family members to sudden events like car accidents. You don’t always know when the end is coming. It can come out of nowhere. And this pandemic we find ourselves in proves that.
Live today like it may be your last. Hug your kids, kiss your spouse, or reach out to a friend and tell them you value that friendship. Now! You may not have another chance.
