My Transition From Scary Black Man To Safe
Just the other day I was thinking about how I was viewed by the people around me. I began noticing that my presence was not having the same effect on certain people as it used to. The observation that I made was that white people did not seem to be as afraid of me as they used to be. I started trying to come up with reasons why white people did not seem to be as scared of me as they once were.
One of the first things that I thought of was it might be because I was getting older. After all, are not older people considered to be safer. Throughout my life, I have never really been considered a thug or some sort of tough guy. so, I do not think my aura would come off as being any softer in my old age. So, I would presume it has to be something else.
A second possibility that also entered my mind was that perhaps I had become too clean-cut. However, at the time this question originally came to mind I had not cut my hair or shaved in months, so I do not think that was it. Honestly, I looked as rough as I had ever been in my life. Funny to think that at one time I was starting to get used to being intimidating.
I know that some of you reading this may not quite understand where I am coming from. After all, why would someone want other people to find them scary? The thing is I can remember the days when I knew no white person would sit within two or three seats from me in a theater or a cafeteria. Those things can be sometimes looked past. However, it is hard to come to grips with people who seemingly do not want to do their grocery shopping in the same aisle that you are in. It was like they thought that the only black person working in the store in uniform with a name tag on was going to do something to them. There would also be the classics of people crossing the street to get away from me.
Over time a person reacted to in these ways can become numb. It gets to the point that you simply do not respond to such reactions and come to accept them as a part of life. Hmm, maybe I just need to start making mean looking faces. I could always start staring down old white ladies just to be scary, but that would not be me.
I just cannot figure out at what point I became the safe black guy.
