#myenglishchat: Cooking. Famous Soviet Olivier Salad
Having coffee with Oly, I’ve found ourselves discussing Soviet Olivier salad, the most traditional thing in the post-Soviet area even now, and l felt brave enough to decide to make it for David. I mean, I’m a terrible cook, and consider myself an old bachelor, or spinster, enjoying my freedom of being as bad cook as I feel suitable for me with no care about what anyone thinks, and, actually, why should I?
David says about himself the same, except for the real fact that he isn’t. I can witness he isn’t bad at cooking at all.
I was happy to have breakfasts and dinners made by him, and was never going to change our things.
We even explained to him what the Soviet Olivier actually is. It contains the following: boiled potatoes, carrots, canned peas, onions, pickled gherkins and plenty of mayonnaise including Doctor’s sausage as a main ingredient. There is nothing more traditional than that sort of stuff, made out of salt, flavourings and basically plastic. Although Oly inclines to think that it’s rather a toilet paper.
Recipes are very, very variable. Some think that an apple is a necessary bit to add. I don’t.
I noticed how Oly’s face expression had changed when I mentioned that I don’t reckon it’s the right way.
David was laughing a lot seeing us about to fight over this sensitive subject, then got all curious about Doctor’s sausage.
I told him many times that I don’t want him to have that suspicious sausage, and we better use baked chicken which seems to be what the French recipe originally implies, and which he’d already had in his fridge.
I truly believed that he’d never know this taste, especially made by me.
But no. He was so curious about Doctor’s sausage that did some googling and showed me Sokolov’s, which are exactly this stuff in England that can be found at one of Eastern Europe food stores, or even at Waitrose. That’s how we got it, just with paprika that even added something.
The question about canned peas seemed to be a bit tricky to me as I didn’t know what we actually have here, and got really surprised exploring that it has different sizes in England, and also can go as a mashed thing.
As for potatoes we shamelessly missed the most part of tradition which is boiling and peeling vegetables (or vise versa). You’re obliged to suffer to get pleasure in the Russian way else it doesn’t count.
We had got potatoes peeled, with greens and a piece of butter for baking in a microwave, and it was done in some 10 minutes.
If David had managed to stop me from boiling carrots it could have gone the same way actually, I am just a too quick decision maker, so hey.
And the last was a huge salad bowl as a compulsory dish size. I was meaning to miss this step too. Well, we are not barbarians I thought, it’s just insane to consume such a terrible amount of food, so something to balance was needed, and I believed that small portions, just for two, would make a job . I even felt outraged when David suggested a bowl exactly traditional size.
How did he know??
And then I realised that despite all my efforts, then a little concern that it wasn’t even going to be any sort of proper portion for two adults, so I added chicken, which is not even out of tradition, eventually I had to use this huge bowl David suggested first.
No, I mean, how did he know?
What a mess, he said looking at what was coming up. I said this was how things are done. Exactly how they are supposed to be.
What a mess, he repeated before going down to business. What a…
And what happened next was exactly what always happens to people who tries this terrible and completely not healthy thing.
I believe that you are a terrible cook, he said, but probably not this time. Can happen.
Sorry not sorry, I managed to make it properly for once, and found it really good, and am all proud despite the fact I am not talented at cooking.
The next thing was semolina porridge which is a separate story, and cutlets, which are a separate story too. Stay tuned.
