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Neophilia
n’. Having great interest of what is new
Throughout my life I have been exposed to a diversity of possibilities, I frequently take inspiration from various sources and foresee myself at the very top of whatever challenge it is that I am inspired to undertake. My problem is that I do not discriminate, by so saying I mean that I absorb it all. I find a task and for a limited time it is all that my mind can think of, I am extremely inspired for a while, but in the midst of it all, my brain goes idle.
I tend to forget easily why it is that I began in the first place and eventually all of my “unfinished business” sees me trapped between an intersection of various unfinished roadways. I am nowhere!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve seen, explored, but I never commit. I’m in a never-ending argument with myself, doubting and putting to trail every decision I ever make. Day after day I am caught up in a cycle of seeing, trying, failing, and surrender, whatever it is that I am missing seems to be far from resolve. I am nothing.
A tough pill to swallow is seeing friends progress and evolve into better and more stable versions of themselves. I on the other hand lie buried in this deep, dark, and lonely hole, beneath each and every decision I have ever made, whether good or bad, blatantly or in hiding, every instant of my life has…
