Never share this with anyone
The majority of us have one common issue and that is that no one understands us.
We always go through this phase where we cannot trust anyone regarding our deepest feelings. We cut off ties with our family; we try to seek happiness outside and end up trusting the wrong people.
And, because of this, we end up fucking things.
Ah…, I am sorry for my language; I could not find a better word to describe that.
In this article, I will put out a phase, a part of my life that initially held me from coming out of my shell, but when I understood a few things, it stopped bothering me and turned me into a stronger person.
We all have family secrets. Something that we are ashamed, scared of, and sometimes proud of sharing. Believe it or not, it burdens us a little. And, slowly, it turns into a pressure, trauma, or something even worse.
And in India, our parents have this invisible pride and recognition in the society of which they are constantly scared of getting ruined. Because of this, we are not allowed to experiment much with our relationships, lives, and sometimes even careers.
My family also had a secret, not a secret but a wrong person, about whom I was not too fond of many things. And he is my father.
Growing up, I have seen him doing things that he should not have done in his life. And those things effortlessly affected us, creating a shell, trauma, and fear in me.
It grew like a tree in me. And I used it as an excuse to get the sympathy. But, my younger self did not know what exactly I was doing.
In my school, when I was not the Dad’s Princess and girls used to talk about how amazing their father was, I used to stare at them without any word.
I did not know I was slowly slipping into the trauma until I realized this kind of thing was blocking me from achieving my true potential.
In the beginning, it was my friends. I grew differently than others. Everyone is. My family had problems; I could not go out, chill, share numbers, or make friends, and my mother strictly told me that I had to study. Thats it.
And, when they used to question me about why I just can’t go out, chill and enjoy, I tell them the whole fucking story.
That was my biggest mistake.
Never share your family’s strengths and weaknesses with anyone
Sharing my family’s things to prove my point, how I grew up differently, why I am not allowed to do these things, why I behave differently sometimes, and why I get sad often was my terrible, most prominent mistake.
One should never reveal it to everyone because they might judge you, try to harm and manipulate you, and you would never know what it cost you.
Sharing the secrets will disarm you.
I used to tell my friends, ohh… this is happening in my family; that happened, and that’s why I am sad.
And, I didn’t realize when I became just that, nothing else.
Those things captured a significant part of my brain, and I had nothing else to discuss.
I thought I would get a little sympathy, love and make true friends because we were told that transparency is good in friendship. Thats fucking lie!
I started losing friends, and the scenario would continue, making my social circle zero.
More problems!
No one understands me!
I am different!
More trauma!
I thought of shifting gears in my life and tried to focus on my studies, and I started doing well.
I started studying tirelessly for 12 to 14 hours, acing every exam and doing great.
And at that time, I finally started to believe I would have a promising future. I would visualize my future, the home, the dogs, the pool, the rich and blah, blah, blah.
And, there, when people started liking my attitude, I made new friends and started connecting with new people.
Then, I began committing my second biggest mistake.
I was sharing my plans.
2. Never tell anyone ABOUT your dreams, your future, and too much about your efforts
You never know when your true friends will start to envy you; you will never know. Who is preparing what for you, who wishes what for you, you don’t know?
Trusting people and revealing your true self is the most foolish thing.
And I have one more reason to prove that.
I hope you have heard of manifestation and our brain’s power to get the taste of ice cream just by imagining ice cream for more than 10 seconds.
Our body releases oxytocin, dopamine, and other happy chemicals when we are happy, and to trick our brain, we constantly daydream to keep us comfortable.
Telling too much about the future you are trying to make will start making you feel happy by releasing oxytocin and dopamine, which means you feel like you have achieved even when you haven’t done anything.
It will make you habitual of getting happy just by imagining it, talking about it, and slowly losing interest in actually doing it.
That’s why it’s always said not to reveal until you make it.
Hard work done in silence always pays.
In my twenty-five years, I learned these two lessons in a tough way. I lost friends, I made enemies, and I disarmed myself with myself.
But that doesn’t mean you should never trust people.
We are in this age where we are dying because we do not have anyone to share our feelings, traumas, and secrets that are hollowing us slowly.
But, one has to understand that sharing is not the solution. It can give you oxytocin and dopamine for a short time, but this thing will die for you. That is why you must invest in true friendships, feel assertive that you have come this far with extraordinary conditions, and never let them disarm you.
So, in proving that no one understands you, do not overshare and regret later.
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Thank you so much!
B-bye
