Member-only story
Satire
No, I Won’t Fill Out Your Stupid Survey
Not even if you pay me
It seems like everywhere you go, people are asking you to fill out a survey. Online, on the phone, in person — it doesn’t matter.
The practice of surveying people has gotten completely out of control. And I, for one, have had enough.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the effort that goes into conducting a survey. I know it takes time and effort to come up with the questions, collect the data, and analyze the results. But that doesn’t change the fact that I hate having to answer all those questions.
Heck, I didn’t even like taking multiple-choice tests in school. You know, their tricky way of surveying our brain’s ability to retain knowledge, or lack thereof.
Want to know how I survived school and graduated with honors?
By randomly filling in the bubbles with my №2 pencil. And look at me now. I’m a successful side hustler in the new creator economy. Side hustling my way to financial freedom without asking people silly questions for a living.
You see, I’m not in school anymore.
You probably aren’t either.
This is real life.
