No, It’s Not a Writer’s Block. Then What is It?
Why I’m not able to write? A confusing account. Let me keep writing…
I don’t know what’s happening to me right now. Or why it’s happening.
I’m not able to write lately. I can’t concentrate and distractions have an upper hand on me. I don’t blame those hormones either.
I opened this draft in my editor to write a piece about my plans for November, but considering I’m not doing very well since the past week, I now have started to doubt myself if it’s anywhere close to beneficial to make a plan.
So many call this a “Writer’s Block,” that I thought was just a fancy term writers have invented to replace the word “procrastination.”
So, I’ll not call it writer’s block only, but a combination of more than just that with a stroke of it.
It’s not like I’m running out of ideas or words that have suddenly halted at the tip of my tongue and don’t want to get in an article. NO. It’s not happening. That’s simply not the case with me.
It’s more like I’m unable to focus, as I said earlier. Honestly, I’m distracted, more than ever, when I badly need to stay focused.
Because I can’t write much in November.
I have my mid-term exams from the fourth week of the upcoming month. Therefore, I need plenty of time to do preparations and revisions for the same.
If that was not enough, I also have to move back to my hostel for the sake of attending offline classes scheduled to start from the 1st of November. So yes, also add those feelings that you experience when you go 1,000 km away from your home for the second time. Yes, I’ve been to a hostel before, but that only lasted for less than a month. Corona happened.
I will not have any desktop computers with me there—only an Android tablet. So, it will be harder to edit pieces and manage my publication. Therefore, the only option that’s left in front of me is to use that cybercafe beside my hostel building more often. That’s a hassle.
So you see, a lot of things are waiting for the next month… and I’m going to be busier than I was for a year or two.
I have this week to get some more writing done. And I can’t do it. And I’m frustrated, to say it all pretty straightforwardly.
But I’m not about to give up that easily
When writing, I’m getting a feel as if saying it all like Shannon Ashley, one of my ideals here. I’m not comparing myself. Wait, what’s even there to compare!
She is the one constant source of inspiration for me, despite her not being any motivational speaker.
Whenever I read you, Shannon, I stop taking most of the things for granted. And as a 15-year-old, I know I take a lot of things for granted, almost all the time.
I genuinely respect you and it’s awe-inspiring how you manage it all: she’s a single mom and is affected by a severe chronic disease called Lipedema (which is so less known that even my auto-correct is suggesting that I replace it with ‘lipids’ or add this word to the dictionary.) I’ll kill you, ProWritingAid.
She’s raising awareness about this disease and its severity. I can’t force you hard enough to check out her articles and essays on Medium.
You can buy her a coffee here. Or visit her profile and read her heartfelt pieces on Medium. It would mean a lot to her.
I don’t know if I tried to boast my petty struggles, which are so damn close to silly excuses, by mentioning Shannon Ashley. I hope I had not, in any possible way.
Millions of emotions are flowing through me as I’m writing this. I had planned nothing beforehand. This Draft didn’t lie in my drafts section even for once and I’m on my way to completing it in one go. I’m honestly feeling much better by writing and expressing myself through this piece.
I hope that this writer’s block thing does not happen to me often. And I keep writing my heart out without thinking if people will interpret it in a wrong way and ditching all other so-called topics you should not talk about as a teenager.
There’s a popular saying in Hindi,
सबसे बड़ा रोग, क्या कहेंगे लोग (read as: Sabse bada rog, kya kahenge log)
which translates to:
What will people say is the biggest disease.
I still don’t know what it was. But I was feeling very different than I’m now. It was not writer’s block. I think I was just thinking a lot and writing a lot less. But let’s move over that weird part.