Mental Health
No Longer Waiting for Rain
Learning to be present without fixating on the future
I have had some recent mental health breakthroughs which have brought about peace in ways that I haven’t yet experienced. I have been trying to stay grounded and accepting of this newfound peace. To me, it would make sense that reveling in this peace should be easy, but that’s not always the case.
I have the unfortunate necessity of fixating on the horizon as I understand that the familiar, brutal storms of life will be coming back around once again. I don’t want to live that way anymore, and I am trying to learn how to close my eyes and allow the sun to bring warmth and new life to such a weary soul.
C-PTSD
C-PTSD has taught me to be hypervigilant at all times. It has allowed me to have persistent negative thoughts about myself. It has provided me the opportunity for intrusive thoughts and memories of the past to be a cancerous part of my existence. I have learned not to trust my environment or the people in it. I am familiar with anger and irritability on a scale that many will never experience. Guilt and shame have become cornerstone beliefs for me over the years. It has allowed me to be completely unable to regulate my emotions and sleep cycle without medication assistance. It…
