No One Can Read Your Mind
4 ways to keep assumptions from ruining relationships
I’m an unabashed fan of advice columns.
Just about every publication I subscribe to features one, and I lap up every single word.
There’s a lot of comfort in knowing others face similar struggles, and intrepid advice-givers and their faithful followers offer some great tips.
One complaint that appears with startling regularity is the mind-reading failure.
Ever had a partner who shrugs when asked what they want to watch on television then sulks when you vote for Netflix over basketball?
Or been baffled by a loved one who says they want to spend a lazy day relaxing but complains about being bored when offered a bagel, cup of coffee, and half the Sunday newspaper?
Where do these unspoken expectations come from?
They’re especially prevalent in romantic relationships. Intuiting our every thought, desire and disappointment is now a requirement for soulmate status.
Expecting a partner to know what bothers you without telling them reflects anxiety and a fear of being neglected, said Baylor University, Professor Keith Sanford.
