Now What?!? (parenting without the manual)
The thing about kids is that you don’t need a license or certification or even good intentions in order to have one. You just do this (rather animalistic) act and then -BOOM- less than a year later you are the proud owner of a fragile, flailing, extremely loud, real, live human…innately designed to scream the moment you close your eyes or sit down with a hot cup of coffee. Sure, there’s care and feeding instructions out there, but the disclaimer on every one is that if you get it wrong you will mess them up for life.
And the really crazy thing is that some people who have read all the manuals and followed all the rules can try and try for years to make one of these babies and never get one. And yet other people will get drunk or lazy one time and -WHAM- they’ve got a rather permanent souvenir (no experience necessary).
So, even if you are one of the lucky ones who was actually able to think it through and decide on purpose to tackle the monumental task of raising a child, you are in for a terrifying joyride of epic proportions: filled with more poop and puke, tears and heartache, hugs and laughter, smiles and soul-crushing love than you ever thought you could withstand.
My children are nearly 5 and 7. One of them gets carsick regularly and the other still pees their pants. Quite often I find turds just hanging out in the…
