On Change, Suffering and Happiness.
A perspective
You wish to change.
You have all the data about it.
You have all the information, and all the jargon used around the subject.
You have read numerous books on how to change your life.
You have watched countless motivational videos.
You start.
You put in efforts to bring the change that you wish to.
It all goes well for a few days.
But you go back to the same old routine. Same old patterns.
You go back to the same old patterns when you get the first taste of the experience behind the words you have read gazillions of times in the books you read about change.
.
.
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Suffering.
According to the Oxford Dictionary, suffering is simply defined as physical or mental pain. Anything that causes us pain and discomfort, causes us suffering.
Take someone like David Goggins for example.
David Goggins is a name that has become synonymous with relentless determination, unwavering resilience, and unparalleled mental toughness.
He is an ultramarathon runner, an Ex-Navy seal who holds numerous records. He is a living embodiment of what it takes to literally take your life from a shit-hole and build it up through sheer hard work.
That’s some change, isn’t it?
When I listen to David Goggins, what strikes me the most is how honest he is, how he never puts a covering of allure around his journey, around his struggles. He says that he is not ‘special’ or ‘gifted’ as many think. There is no glamour in his talks, there are no wishful affirmations, not much about positive thinking, etc.
I have never heard him talk about hacks.
I have never heard him selling tricks.
I have never heard him talk about shortcuts.
None of that.
The most peculiar thing that I find about him is his take on suffering.
The way he has established a relationship with suffering.
He simply talks about “embracing the suck”, about “willingly suffering”.
This is why most of us never change because the conscious relationship with suffering is absent.
Most of us run away from it. But when you run towards change, suffering runs with you, right by your side. They are inseparable. (I mean, it's quietly lurking by your side always anyway, but as you try to bring change it makes its presence clear.)
So, here it is, Straight cut to the chase. No beating around the bush.
If you want change, it is never going to be easy. It's going to hurt, it's going to feel bad. You must embrace this “fact”.
If you want to change, you are going to suffer, it is given.
The only thing you get to do is to consciously take time to establish a relationship with the pain and suffering that you are inevitably going to face. That way you do not make it worse than it is.
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Happiness.
This is important. Unless you have a fair idea of this word. You suffer perpetually.
Let me give you my take on happiness. Remember the movie “Pursuit of Happiness”?
Based on the real-life story of Chris Gardner who is an American entrepreneur, the film showcases his struggles and the suffering that he undergoes, as he attempts to change his life.
At the end of the film, he is hired at the high-end stock broking firm as a stock broker. He finally achieves something that will change his life for the better. At that moment, we hear a voice-over giving the truest description of the nature of happiness given in any film.
It goes, “This little part of my life is called happiness.”
That is what I view happiness as.
As opposed to seeing it as something permanent on the timeline of our finite lives. It appears in moments. Usually (not always) comes in the form of satisfaction after the pursuit of a goal, for a short period of time, for the reason that you have put in your efforts, and given everything you could in your pursuit.
But, these “little parts” penetrate deeper into your soul in comparison to life lived in the pursuit of pleasure.
The struggles and suffering afterward continue.
It’s never over really.
Thank you for reading!
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