One Reason You Might Chase Unavailability
Only When I Found Security Did I Notice This
Kelly Sikkema on Pexels
Finding yourself in an unavailable dynamic is painful to say the least. For one, they can be incredibly addictive due to their intermittent nature, and we’ll most likely find ourselves wondering why we’re even bothering.
After all, if this person was the person for us, wouldn’t they commit and make it official? Wouldn’t they treat us how we wish to be treated? And if they don’t, why is it we can’t move on?
These sorts of questions took up much of my mental space as I moved out of my patterns of dating unavailable people. That is, when I was consciously questioning the dynamic and not living through my hopes and dreams and ignoring reality (something we tend to do in these scenarios).
I seemed in a habit of always choosing unavailable people, of finding myself caught up on the “what ifs” and “if only they chose me” sort of thoughts.
It’s safe to say, when we’re doing something over and over there’s something else driving the car other than the otherworldly and mouth-watering high’s these dynamics can bring. It’s not just how great this person “seems” to be (and I put it in quotations because is this person that great if they’re not returning texts or following through with plans?), there’s also…
