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One Way to Get the Most Out of Your Friendships

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What if you had a friend for each need?

You have a friend for every need friendships serve in your life and you don’t have to expect everything from one person.

My journey with friendships has got me thinking a lot. It is no longer news that I don’t have many friends. I no longer think it is a bad thing, it is just what it is. But I still think that having healthy friendships is very important. They make our lives fuller and richer. I grew up with the messaging from my parents that friends are not people you rely on, they’ll leave eventually, they can hurt you and so much more but so can your siblings, so can your partner, even your children can leave you by virtue of death.

We all want and need friends because we want them to show up for us at some point in our lives. We want them to be there when we cry, when we have reasons to laugh, when we need support, when we need people to bare our souls to, when we need love, and when we just want to chill.

But why don’t we treat and relate to our friends based on their capability and peculiarity? Why do we want just one person to be there for us emotionally, physically, and in all ways? When someone has been there for you emotionally over the years, they falter once by not attending your wedding and it’s the highway for the friendship.

Some people are capable of being there for us emotionally, some financially, and some would always send us work opportunities by the virtue of who they are. True friendships are killed because we expect our friends to show up for us every time we need them instead of being grateful for how they show up for us.

There are days when what you need the most is emotional support, reach out to the friend who is good with that. There are days when what you need is financial support, reach out to friends who are capable of that, there are days when what you need is to be practical, reach out to your friends who are good with that.

We should learn to not put responsibilities that are not fitting on all our friends and let them show up in ways they are capable of. Appreciate them when they do, and hold space for them when they are unable to show up in ways you expect them to.

Now I have found a better way to start my friendships as an adult, I’ll tell you my strengths and weaknesses. How I am mostly capable of showing up for you, what my boundaries are so that we can all manage expectations.

Dear friend,

I am mostly capable of showing up for you emotionally, I am the type who would validate your dreams, send opportunities your way and inspire you. I’ll give you my time, my love, trust, and care to the best of my ability.

Share in the comment section the value you bring to your friendships and maybe you’d find a friend.



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Toyin Zuleiha

Toyin Zuleiha


I like to expand your perspective and world view with my words. How To Put Yourself Out There on Social Media- course #ZuleihaXpressions