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Our Mental Patterns Set the Tone of Our Lives
And some need to be broken
My Love and I have a toxic pattern — we each exercise opposing core values on the eve of our anniversary.
Last week was our 11th Anniversary — It seems crazy how we have such a milestone considering who we are and what we went through to get here. We are both commitment-phobes, stubborn to a fault, and cannot abide the thought of being tied down in an academic sense. In that, I feel we do not differ from most people. Whether they think this applies is entirely up to the people themselves.
Psychologists often talk about how humans are driven to act consciously and unconsciously by the core values they hold. Each human takes these on and holds them deep within, and they act as a sort of engine for propulsion forward.
People know what is important to them. Hence, when asked about their values, they can usually give reasonably accurate reports. People may act in accordance with their values even when they do not consciously think about them.
— Values and Behavior: Strength and Structure of Relations
Dr. Anat Bardi & Dr. Shalom H Schwartz