Overcoming the Death Spiral of Your Inner Voice
Stop stressing about your imaginary world, start living
“The voice inside never stops talking.”
Last Sunday, I visited my favorite spot in the city: Indigo, the bookstore. I love this place for its atmosphere and abundance of books.
This particular store even has a piano where someone occasionally plays interesting pieces. Usually, when I visit a bookstore, I know exactly which book I’m going to pick up. But this Sunday was different.
I typically head straight to the business and leadership section, but something drew me to the “well-being” section instead. Maybe it was the beautiful women there or the enticing aroma of the coffee shop inside the store.
While browsing this section, a book caught my eye: “The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself.” I recognized it because someone in the office had mentioned it earlier.
I decided to give it a try. For the next two hours, I sat there reading, amazed by each sentence (I’m not exaggerating).
I left the store with a huge “Aha” moment. The most important lesson I learned is how our internal voice can make life more difficult than it actually is.
Here’s what I learned.
The voice inside your head
We all have that constant mental chatter in our heads, narrating everything we do. It criticizes, blames, and makes us sad.
Have you noticed how you run these internal stories?
“What should I eat now?” Maybe I’ll have something light. But if I eat a salad, I’ll still be hungry. If I go for meat and rice, I’ll be full but feel tired.”
Or you might be judging yourself for everything: “I think I did well at work today,” “Does my boss like me?” “Do my colleagues appreciate me?” “Why do I feel so insecure?”
This is just your internal voice. The key, as Michael Singer suggests, is to understand that this voice is not you.
Think of it as a non-stop talking machine spewing garbage. The problem arises when we listen to this voice and believe it. We think it’s our reality and who we are.
For example, you might think, “The presentation I did today was bad; I’m just not good at presentations; I don’t have charisma.”
Believing this, you avoid sharing your ideas and presenting, which leads to less recognition from company executives and missed promotion opportunities.
To tackle this, remember:
- This is just meaningless talk
- Watch the voice talking
When you become the observer or the “witness,” as the author calls it, you detach from your head and stop believing everything it says. This is crucial because this voice makes you overthink and doubt every decision you make.
How the Voice Affects Your Decisions
Reading the book made me realize that our doubts, insecurities, and lack of confidence often stem from internal self-talk. I noticed that my tendency to doubt myself and procrastinate, even on small decisions, is because of this voice.
Why does this voice even exist?
This voice has a purpose.
It’s a psychological mechanism designed to protect us from the unknown and the uncertainties of the world. Its job is to make sense of the world, creating a continuous narrative to help us understand and organize our experiences, keeping us grounded.
But, just like in the business world where every new solution creates new problems, this internal mechanism can create more problems.
Because it never stops working, it makes us overthink every decision. It has an opinion on everything you do. Imagine having a friend who comments on every decision you make. You want to go to the gym — he has an opinion. You want to meet friends — he’ll tell you the pros and cons. You want to start a conversation with someone on the street — he warns you, “Don’t do that. What if they don’t respond or say something nasty?”
That’s your mind’s internal voice.
What to do about it?
The journey to mental peace and self-control starts by recognizing the presence of the internal voice that constantly fills our minds with empty talk.
This acknowledgment is the first step towards gaining control over this inner talk.
Pay attention to how it narrates everything around you. It has an opinion about everything you do. Just being aware of it and listening to that indeed talk is the first step.
The second step is to get your head back to reality.
Pay close attention to the small details of your everyday life — the rhythm of your breathing, the feel of your footsteps, the sounds around you. This practice of mindfulness brings your focus to the present and away from the incessant chatter inside your head.
The third step is to observe the voice talking.
With this foundation of awareness, you are ready to observe the internal dialogue as something separate from yourself.
Visualize it as a machine, a separate entity that produces thoughts continuously like a factory. This perspective allows you to detach from the thoughts, seeing them as products of your brain’s machinery rather than reflections of your true self.
Observing your thoughts as an outsider provides the distance needed to realize that these thoughts are just noise — unnecessary and often unhelpful.
By continuously practicing these steps — acknowledging the voice, sharpening your sensory awareness, distancing yourself from thoughts, and observing them as mere noise — you cultivate a strong, serene mind.
So in conclusion,
Become aware of the voice
Pay attention to the things around you
Observe it with continuous talk
My last thoughts
It’s not an easy task to achieve, and I’ve been practicing this for the last few days. It’s much more difficult than it seems.
It’s challenging because I’ve been living with this internal persona all my life, and now I have to separate myself from it. And it won’t let me go easily. So, I have some work to do.
But I know that at the end of this process, I’ll be free from fear, doubt, and all the other nonsense the brain randomly creates.
Nikita
