Papa, I’m Sorry

This is not a confession

Chathurika Gamaethige
ILLUMINATION
2 min readMay 31, 2020

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Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash

Papa, I’m sorry!
I’m just a stupid girl.
It’s me who is wrong.
I missed,
the most precious
companion of my life!

“What a schadenfreude!
Happy about your own disobedience?.
See the punishment you receive.
You missed your guiding star!”
I told to myself,
as nobody threw away the blame to me.

Papa, I’m sorry.
Forgive me for my idiocy,
But I know, I couldn’t console myself,
I couldn’t take the moments back.

I don’t need to talk to “God”
Why should I?
Pray to confess my excuses?
No. I don’t!
He cannot forgive me!
Even I never forgive me!
Why do he?
He won’t forgive mischievous girls,
Who gave endless pain to her papa.

I’m a ridicule.
I ran after my broken kite.
I forgot about the busy street.
I didn’t stop until I heard
that last cry of you papa.

I turned.
I held your blood-soaked body.
I cried endlessly.
But you didn’t cry back.

I’m sorry about the car driver.
This is not his fault.
It’s me who is guilty.
It’s me the killer.
My mischievousness killed my papa.
I gave him the pain.
Now I bear it and will bear
until I die.

Forgive me, Papa, If you can.
I’m sorry papa but I’m not good for mercy.
My love for you makes me hard to live.
Stay happy forever in the heaven
Until I come to join you!

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Chathurika Gamaethige
ILLUMINATION

Want to feel the hidden secrets between the blue sky and rough earth and eager to put them into words…