As We Begin To Socialize Again Please Let’s Remember To Use Our Social Skills
It’s not ok to scream at the girl behind the counter because she is out of your favorite donut and mumble something about not having been out of the house in 6 months.
The Proverbial Spring Thaw
I don’t know how it is by you, but in my neck of the woods, people are beginning to socialize again in increasing numbers. Confidence to venture out is rising in direct correlation to the number of folks receiving their first and second doses of the vaccine.
In my mind, I had envisioned this time of social re-engagement to be much like those exhilarating first days of spring after the long, hard, dark Northern winters of my childhood.
One felt joy in the heart and peace in the soul as they began to hear the songbirds again, feel a warmer breeze on their cheek and see the new buds forming on the maple trees. Those first spring days always brought a sense of relief. “Aaahhh, we made it through another winter. The warmth and the sunshine will be here soon. Everything is going to be ok.”
Like I said, that is how I had been imagining this time of social re-engagement. I know, you can gag if you want, but that’s what I was thinking.
More Hunger Games and Less Bambi
However, I am dismayed to report that what I am finding is more like a scene from Hunger Games and less like Bambi.
I have a friend who owns a sweet neighborhood cafe. She has a solid staff, some of whom have been with her for years, and a robust roster of regular clientele. Recently, she has seen an uptick of 50 percent in her business. That is 50 percent on top of her pre-COVID numbers. In other words, her business has exploded.
Anyone who knows the restaurant business knows it is not an easy industry. Margins are small and the hustle is hard. A good day at work means you were moving non-stop, you went home with tired feet and you will wake up the next morning with an assortment of sore lower back muscles.
Recently, however, my friend has been finishing her days in complete exhaustion. Some of her staff have ended up in tears on multiple occasions and a few long-time employees are actually asking for less hours.
The reason: PEOPLE.
The people are unbearable. They are coming out in droves. They are rude. They are impatient. They are screaming at the staff if the pastry they want is sold out by the time they get to the counter. The lines during breakfast and lunch rush are out the door and down around the building.
In short, people are behaving slightly like animals. At the same time, the staff repeatedly hears customers saying things like, “this is the first time I have been out of the house in 8 months.”
Some customers stare wide-eyed at the staff and are actually having trouble speaking. They apologize because they have forgotten how to have a conversation. This is happening on a repeated basis.
Customers are confused, disoriented and becoming enraged at the slightest little thing: a forgotten silverware set up, a latte not quite warm enough to their liking, a drink they thought they ordered but never actually did becomes the server’s fault and she becomes an “idiot”.
What happened to “We’re all in this together.” Where did that go? Apparently, it’s every man for himself when there are savory breakfast pastries on the line.
A Call For a Communal Deep Breath
I understand this has been a hard time for a lot of people. Maybe your career vanished. Maybe you had to give birth to your first child all alone in the hospital. Maybe you lost a loved one. Maybe your entire world has changed.
But that is not the fault of the single mother behind the counter who has a little mouth to feed at home. She has not had the luxury of working from home for the last year. Yes, I just called it a luxury. Hate me if you will. She has had to get up every day and work 10–12 hours on her feet with a hot mask. She has not had a break at all this last year. She is grateful to be “essential” and to have a steady-ish paycheck in these uncertain times but she does not deserve to be disrespected by someone who hasn’t worn pants that button in over eight months and holds their apartment complex’s Netflix Binge Watching Championship title.
She is sorry if you are elderly or immune system compromised and have not been able to leave your house for many months but she does not deserve to be disrespected. She wants to be compassionate. She wants to make sure you enjoy your first outing in a long time but she does not deserve to be treated like a doormat.
As a society, we need to acknowledge that many people have spent a hot minute marinating in fear, confusion and anger. This has taken a toll on many individuals.
We need to be mindful of this as we go out the door and interact with other people on an increasingly larger scale.
I am afraid that all this isolation has caused many people to forget how to be human. I am afraid that having spent so much time face-to-face this year with our own mortality has caused some of us to forget our humanity.
There is much to be said on this topic; many facets of social re-integration to explore. I will leave that to writers wiser and more eloquent than myself.
All I want to do is call awareness to this issue and say, “Hey, friend. Take a moment and check-in with yourself before you go out the door, especially if you are going to be interacting in a larger environment for the first time in a long time.”
I understand that this past year has been hard on many of us but that does not give us permission to go around treating other people poorly.
I just want to ask us all to take a minute. Let’s all pause and take stock of our own state of mind before we go out the door; especially if we have not gone out that door very much in the last year.
The Takeaway
When I was a little girl and we would go out somewhere as a family my parents had this little routine they would go through before we left the house. Pop was a tad forgetful so Mom would always look at him and say, “Wallet, keys and cell phone?” Pop would pat his pocket, feel for all three and answer, “Yup. Let’s go.” or “Nope, left the keys.”
May I make a suggestion? I think we can all take from this example and use it in our current lives.
Before we go out the door: “Wallet, keys…humanity?”
Pat your pockets, check for what’s missing and then head out to enjoy the day.
