People fail to understand introverts and often misjudge them

Vivek Dalal
ILLUMINATION
Published in
4 min readAug 30, 2020
Photo Pixabay.com

Introvert finds its origin from the Latin word introvertere, which means who turns one’s thoughts inward. As famously quoted by Aristotle, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” But for knowing yourself, you have to spend time in solitude. According to Susan Cain, “Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” The need for being alone sometimes is what differentiates an introvert from an extrovert. In other words, introvert energized from within while extroverted from the outside world.

Most of the people get it completely wrong and start judging introvert on various aspects. The following are the top 10 misconceptions about introverts.

  1. Introverts are shy. Introverts are habitual of doing self-reflection, which in turn is a seed for higher self-confidence. Confidence and shyness don’t go hand in hand. In short, anybody can be shy irrespective of personality type, but introversion fuels confidence instead of making you nervous.
  2. Introverts need help in social situations. For effective social engagement, you should be knowledgeable to do discussions with people in different settings. Introvert certainly wouldn’t be lacking in knowledge and generally choose words cautiously to ensure effective dialogue. Selective choice of words is certainly different from being talkative, but it shouldn’t be confused with an inability to handle social situations.
  3. Introverts hate parties. Like extroverts, introverts may also be party people. But the goal and choice of parties may be different for introverts. Sometimes, the gathering of many unknown people with a lack of clear purpose may drain their energy, but it doesn’t mean they hate parties.
  4. Introverts are no fun. Introverts are fun-loving, although the approach could be different from extroverts. Although they like fun activities but lack of involvement may get them bored quickly. Introverts are generally active listeners and fully aware in the moment, enabling them to be spot on and entertaining.
  5. Introverts are rude. Being true shouldn’t be confused with rudeness. Introverts generally avoid too much polishing before speaking but still can be sensitive to the situation, if required.
  6. Introverts are underachievers. Susan Cain quoted, “There is zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.” Introvert’s self-reflection process helps them see their goals with clarity, which helps to achieve them.
  7. Introverts are poor public speakers. A good story and connect with the audience makes you a great public speaker. Personality type has the least to play a role here; instead, the subject’s knowledge and excellent storytelling do the magic. Strong urge to deeply understand the topic and the right choice of words give an edge to introverts.
  8. Introverts are not great leaders. “In a gentle way, you can shake the world”, quoted by Mahatma Gandhi. Outstanding leadership is about vision and leading people. Again, personality type has nothing to do here. Instead, a focused approach to achieve well-defined vision and lead by example helps you emerge as a great leader.
  9. Extroverts are more happier than introverts. Pleasure from external triggers may be short-lived. Extreme happiness or being joyful originates within instead from the outside world. Looking inward for joy is the strength of introverts and surely doesn’t make them lesser happier, if not more.
  10. Introverts don’t like the way they are. Introvert’s self-reflection and calming mind solves a lot of their problems. Less problems mean more happiness and contentment. They don’t try to be extroverts as they don’t see it as superior in any way.

So who are introverts? To better understand introverts, here are top characteristics which most of them can easily relate to.

  1. Seek happiness and joy within. Introverts understand that sadness and happiness are all within. Searching the solution in the outside world doesn’t help. Introspection and calming the mind is critically important to become joyful.
  2. Love time in solitude. As said by Marilyn Monroe, “I restore myself when I’m alone.” Solitude shift focus within and starts a fantastic quest to explore yourself. Introverts love that as it gives them peace and joy.
  3. Prefer quality over quantity in relations. Introverts prefer to spend quality time instead of trying to get close to everybody else. If they don’t find a great company, then seek the ultimate company of themselves in solitude.
  4. Great learners. Introverts read a lot. Reading enables them to learn. But other introvert strengths make them great learners such as excellent listening, critical observation, and relentless quest for self-improvement.

The world is not divided between extreme introvert and extrovert people. Instead, most of us are somewhere in between. Sometimes being introverted can help you to be joyful as most of our problems find sources in our minds. As famous Indian spiritual guru Jaggi Vasudev(Sadguru) quoted, “If you get lonely in solitude, you are really in bad company”. So spend some time with yourself and reflect on why and how you are doing whatever you are doing. Regularly practicing that will surely strengthen your path towards real success.

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Vivek Dalal
ILLUMINATION

Passionate problem solver and digital transformation expert