Pictures
Always stay camera ready, but at what cost?
Pictures. Everywhere I go I want to take them. I pull out my phone quicker than lightning just to capture the moment before it fades away. The moment never waits for me though, it leaves as quickly as it came and I am forced to save face and snap my camera of what was once there. I spend my days dreaming of adventure, of exploring the earth and all its splendor.
When I get to the great wonders of the world, I cannot think of the beauty that lies before me, I cannot of the diligence of the craftwork done centuries ago so that I can witness it, All I can think about is if I can capture this moment on time.
As I snap the photo, the moment escapes me it seems, and I am left feeling bereft of the feeling the scenery was meant to invoke in me. There is no need to try to catch every memory. There is a reason it cannot be caught.
It is like the wind, cool, invigorating, and painfully fleeting. But it doesn’t have to be a sad thing in fact it can be quite beautiful. I want to learn that in a world full a galore of digital eyes and gadgets, there are still some things unique to the human experience.
There are still things that only I can see and only I can feel. Some things are so sacred and unique, that they can not be held within a frame. Some things cannot be suspended forever in print because it is meant to be free like a breath. I want to learn that there is no need to try to encapsulate myself in everything that I do.
I want to learn that there is no need to whip out my phone for every single thing I see that comes from a place of fear. A place saying that if I didn’t take a picture, then it didn’t happen.
What if I didn’t press record, I would be forever lost in a sea of oblivion like the rest of the unfortunate souls. But I now know that the earth remembers its inhabitants and the very soles of my feet imprint on a ground never walked by me before yet walked the millions that came before me.
I want to learn that it is okay to revel in the now of my existence. I want to know that living is for now and not the later.
That even when I am 90 and grey and I don’t have every memory stowed away to retrieve at my every whim, I will know that I lived for the time I had and did not feel the need to capture the euphoria I was feeling.
I want to learn that my mind and body take the score and conjure up the moment for me. And I do pray one day that I will feel no external pressure for this vain documentation, no fear clawing at my heart when I view a beauty, I only consent to living in the moment, however ephemeral it may be, even if it costs me that one perfect picture.
