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Post-Honeymoon Love: Recognizing My Power

Olivia Love
ILLUMINATION
Published in
4 min readJan 10, 2025

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Photo by author; at Hollywood Beach

As someone who voluntarily became a single mom, I sit here with a heavy heart, my thoughts and feelings wrapped in a web of love, deceit, violence, and sacrifice. I met my volatile younger lover years ago, passion and synchronicities fueling our connection. Yet I had misgivings from the beginning of us becoming more serious with one another. As excited as I was to have someone fall for me so ecstatically and wholly.

As someone who’s long been fiercely independent and with a wild streak, I’d become softer with age and parenthood. He met my needs and wants for a committed partner, a lover, a companion, and a co-parent, but did he really? I’ve loved him fiercely and still do, but sometimes I question if our energies are too out of synch, two mismatched clashing rhythms.

I let my heart lead this time, its whispers louder than the firm voice of my boundaries. I’ve supported this partner of mine through his storms of drinking and smoking, hoping my love could be the anchor he needs. But I’ve realized love alone cannot hold up the sky when the clouds are filled with his destructive habits.

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ILLUMINATION
ILLUMINATION

Published in ILLUMINATION

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Olivia Love
Olivia Love

Written by Olivia Love

Mother, wellness advocate, healing practitioner, and writer https://linktr.ee/healinglivmama

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