Quick, powerful self-care: 6 dimensions transforming your mental health from languishing to sparkling
Here’s something that seems rarely spoken about: sparkling mental health and well-being. What is it, and where do you start?
Guess what I received when I googled terms like “superior mental health” or “above average mental health”? Sites that help you get from below-average mental health to perhaps a sort of okay baseline. There’s nothing wrong with this, and it’s great to see people share their stories around poor mental health. These stories help remove the stigma around various debilitating mental health conditions.
Maybe it sounds arrogant to mention when you are experiencing brief moments of sparkling well-being? Perhaps you are setting yourself up as a target, as someone experiencing privileges that others don’t have. Could it be that people think you are flaunting your lack of personal demons?
Why actively look after your mental health?
Yet, it is constructive to have an adequate self-care regime and reflect on when this regime works. You can’t look after others if you are struggling. In the psychology profession, we have an ethical imperative to look after ourselves. This is not for selfish reasons; it is actually an act of selflessness. The public paying for our services should receive remarkable tailored service. This high-quality service only happens when clinicians are at their best.
Above-average mental health can seem fleeting or built on a house of cards. In the last few months, a good part of Sydney was in lockdown due to COVID. The western part of Sydney had additional lockdown restrictions due to elevated transmissions in nearby suburbs. Did I cope well with the lockdown? No — my mental health was average, to say the least. Now with lockdown over (for the time being), many of us in Sydney feel free again.
What works for me?
How do I look after myself? Between contracts, I head to the beach or the mountains. Blue or green space has powerful therapeutic qualities. It doesn’t matter how stressed out I feel — the ocean has no memory. The cliffs overlooking the sea are rocks that have been worn away by the water over centuries. These centuries give me a sense of perspective. Walking through the bush or being amid a rainforest washes away my worries.
My mind slowed down after my brief stay on the Central Coast. The Central Coast is an hour’s drive north of Sydney, Australia. I spent most of my time either in the ocean, walking along the shoreline, or at a nearby bakery eating custard tarts. This is part of my self-care regime for as long as I can remember — and it works.
I do this between contracts, and it is usually several months to a year of hard work before I get to hit the beach in this way. I love to take my son and wife with me as they can also enjoy the profound benefits of this form of self-care. Most importantly, we get to connect and create memories together.
Why does blue and green space work?
You don’t need a multi-day retreat to a faraway blue or green space. There is evidence suggesting 120 minutes per week in nature links to good health and wellbeing. Even a quick walk in nature may help combat depression — or at least calm you down if you’re having a challenging day at work. What might be the “secret sauce” that nature provides for your wellbeing?
Nature doesn’t care. Ecosystems in my treasured blue or green spaces constantly evolve. Their vast expanse reminds me of how little I am. The beauty found in blue or green spaces is breathtaking. The simple miracle of a bird flying over a beach. How a raindrop rolls down a leaf. The unabashed joy of a dog bounding down the beach into the surf. One person’s immediate connection with another is when we both crack a smile over the dog’s sheer enthusiasm.
The cuts, bruises, and aches of being human heal in nature. Worries are washed away. Floating in the ocean, feeling the exhilarating call of the water. Standing alone in a rainforest, hearing only birds in the rustle of wind through trees. Another reminder of our insignificance and your relevance of career aspirations, money, or power. None of these matter. Nature reminds us of our truth.
Being present in nature reminds us of what we do have. The miracle of being able to take a full breath of fresh air, to stand and wander. The concept of time becomes irrelevant in blue or green spaces. Our minds can slow down, as there is no rush or constant time-checking. In doing so, our minds go inward — to what we are grateful for and quite often to beautiful nothingness.
As an insignificant speck in a vast ocean, our minds open. As a single dot walking through a beautiful green expanse, we feel our interconnectedness with nature. In overlooking a beautiful vista on the edge of a cliff, we realize a paradox. What we see will change over centuries yet remain fundamentally the same.
With our minds slowing down, we become far more present to both insights and what we truly stand for. Sudden insights are revealed for complex and thorny problems long put away. Rather than grip a problem tightly, we have chosen to let go. Yet, our open minds show novel and helpful ways forward. We become more grounded and centered.
“What’s right with you?”
What is superior mental health? Could it be our self-rating of our levels of calm, empathy, and cognitive flexibility? Could it be how we savor the present moment? It is a score of 7 and above in any self-rating?
Your focus goes from “what’s wrong with you” to “what’s right with you” when thinking of above-average mental health. This focus on things going well also lets you look at the bigger picture. I am getting older, and with the passing of time, I experienced the loss of people I looked up to.
For example, my fourth-year supervisor Dr. Linda Ovington helped me shape a thesis on creative insights. Prof Tony Grant, the father of coaching psychology — it was a pleasure to meet this pioneer years ago. Recently, two giants in the psychology profession passed away in the last couple of months. One was a master of the “what’s wrong with you” type of psychology, and the other a leader in the “what’s right with you”.
Aaron Beck was a psychiatrist who pioneered treatment for depression and anxiety. His incredible efforts resulted in instruments used in clinical practices everywhere, and the Beck Depression Inventory is one such instrument.
In a healthier state, our minds have constructive answers to an important question: “What makes life worth living?”
One of the best people to help us answer this question died recently. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is the father of a concept called flow. Csikszentmihalyi defined flow as the pleasure from lasting immersion in absorbing activities. Activities like being in nature or losing track of time from grappling with a complex yet engaging challenge.
Six ways towards flourishing
Flourishing is a term often linked to this understanding of superior mental health.
Flourishing is a broad concept that reflects a holistic perspective on living a happy or “good” life. Flourishing encompasses many feelings, activities, and thoughts that make people happy and whole.
The positive psychology movement has recently attempted to measure flourishing.
… based on the idea that six domains contribute to the experience of flourishing:
1. Happiness and Life Satisfaction
2. Mental and Physical Health
3. Meaning and Purpose
5. Close Social Relationships
6. Financial and Material Stability (VanderWeele, 2017)
With the intensity and distractions of our lives, it is worth a regular visit to the temple of “what’s right with you”. What aspects of your self-care regime make a powerful and almost immediate difference to your well-being?
While I start a new contract in a couple of days' time, my brief getaway was brilliant for getting me back in the game. I know the days ahead will be long, so I am grateful for this downtime.
Wish me luck with this next career chapter. I will leave you with a final question: What aspects of your life can you shape to unlock higher levels of well-being?
