Read This If You Don’t Know What Emotion You’re Feeling
An Emotion Catalogue Made By An Alexithymic
When I was in highschool, I had extremely severe Alexithymia — which is essentially not being able to tell what emotion you’re feeling.
At that time, I wished I had someone in my life who could relate to my situation and help me identify what emotion I was feeling.
After extensive research, I was able to form a list that has the basic emotions and their definition.
So, whenever I sensed that I was feeling something strong but didn’t know what it was, I would take a look at that list to see which emotion I’m experiencing.
It came in really handy, I still use it to this day whenever Ifeel emotionally confused.
So here’s the list of basic emotions:
Anger
This shows us who we are and what we care about, whenever you feel this emotion, it means that a boundary has been crossed.
Beware of its shadow side which is aggressiveness, it’s like the unhealthy version of anger.
Sadness
This emotion is an aftermath of disappointment, if you find yourself feeling something strong that you can’t identify right after a disappointing event, then this sadness is probably what you’re experiencing.
Sadness doesn’t have to come immediately after the event, I had multiple instances where it took me various hours to start feeling something strong in my chest.
Guilt
We usually feel this emotion because something we DIDN'T do.
To get out of the rut of guilt, you have to come to terms with the way things have gone, and promise yourself you won’t make the same mistake next time.
Embarrassment
You know it’s embarrassment when you feel like you didn't behave in a way that you’re proud of.
The shadow side of it is shame, when we feel shame, we condemn ourselves as human beings and feel completely worthless.
Shame mostly comes to the surface because we amplify things, to undo it you should take a little break and then analyze the situation again, you’ll mostly realize that you’re just exaggerating stuff.
Jealousy
Jealousy is subtle emotion, it often presents itself as anger or judgement when in reality it is sadness and self-dissatisfaction.
This is an unhealthy emotion that can potentially ruin your relationship to others.
To get out of jealousy mode you should be grateful for the things you have and understand that you never see the full picture of other people.
That person you want to swap lives with might be lacking things that are essential but that you don’t see like a meaningful marriage or being able to enjoy little things in life like a cup of tea.
Resentment
We feel resentment towards people because they didn’t live up to the expectation of them we had in mind.
Whenever you feel this emotion, just take a deep breathe and rethink wether your expectation is actually realistic and achievable.
Regret
This emotion shows us what we absolutely need to create/do in the future. we usually regret what we DIDN’T do.
Sometimes regret and guilt are experienced simultaneously and are hard to separate, a good way out is to apply what I mentioned in the “guilt” section above.
Body Parts Signal Emotions
Using definitions of emotions helps, but what I alsofound out to be helpful is to you try and feel your body parts which work as indicators of your emotional state:
- Fear usually presents itself in your stomach (gut).
- Heartaches can be located (felt) in your chest area.
- Your shoulders signal your anxiety level, the more relaxed the better.
Final Thoughts
To everyone struggling with Alexithymia or any kind of emotional confusion, it gets better, you just have to keep trying to understand the new state of your psyche.
I’ve had Alexithymia for 6 years now, I haven’t healed completely but I’ve come a long way, I hope you do too, just try to understand your “new emotions” instead of rejecting them and wheeping over your old ones.
I made that mistake in the first three years of my lifetime as an alexithymic person and I can assure you that it achieves nothing, keep learning and trying to decipher what your body is telling you, peace.
