Reasons Why You Are Not Comfortable With Yourself
Ever wondered why you’re unhappy with yourself
Maybe the reason why is you, when you feel your days are so boring and are getting intolerable.
The basic level of the practical experience of ‘theory of relativity’ is a part of our daily life.
I believe that you had an opportunity to test perception differences of time at least once in your life. When you feel that your days are getting boring and longer, the reason behind it might be similar to why you perceive painful experiences to last longer and intense compared to your happy moments.
Looking back and thinking about the past you get reminded of your happy moments and most probably you can’t even understand how it passed so fast. But if your current experiences are the opposite of those memories maybe you should consider more whether you are happy enough about yourself or not no matter what are you doing or what you have to do.
The answer of how to convert most of your moments to the happy moment might be more related to improving your relationship with yourself and see how it reflects to everything in your life in a positive way
Barrier between your communication with yourself has side effects and it could result in feeling boring about your life, lack of satisfaction, feeling less productive, lack of self-confidence and losing your intuition. These are some observable causes of why your connection with yourself is reducing or going on in an ineffective way.
Comparison with others, it is a game that you lose in all manner of it.
First of all, let’s start with the most common and harmful thinking process that might cause the feeling of being a stranger to yourself.
It is a comparison between you and others, between what you have and what they have. People are behaving this way unintentionally without knowing that the consequences of it would be more destructive than they can think of. Sometimes our weaknesses or desires are pushing us to act this way but most of the time it happens because of the external stimuli.
There are versions of comparison and it can change from person to person. The most common examples are us comparing our success, physical appearance, dreams, even happiness level with others.
Social media is the most powerful source of external stimuli causing this comparison that comes in my mind before everything. Sometimes it is easy to feel frustrated by finding out that someone else is living your dreams over there while you are trying to reach there but you are not even close. Then these beliefs create new circles of the chain such as this person has all these because this person is more attractive than you or because this person was lucky enough to be there or you are not capable enough to do so.
All of these beliefs are products of your superficial impressions.
Maybe you believe that it can motivate you more but conversely, comparing yourself with others is going to make you feel more exhausted.
In the end, the destination is going to be the useless judgment about yourself and you’ll be focusing on what you don’t have instead of getting motivated or instead of concentrating on what you have. Therefore, most of the time comparison is going to be an obstacle and excuse that will make you give up on your dreams.
The only motivation you should find in it that there is someone who already did it so this should be something reachable for you as well as long as you accept that everybody has their unique life conditions and also a unique way of doing things. The belief of all these people being at the right place at the right time and that you already missed it will be the obstacle in front of you set by you just based on your restricted comparison.
Consider that nobody said there is only one path that goes to success.
No, there is not only one way to get there. You can create your own path rather than following the path created by others.
Create your harmony with your abilities to reach what you dream through concentrating on abilities you have rather than comparing yourself. Otherwise, it is going to make you blind just because of concentrating a lot on what others have rather than what you are able to do and it is going to reduce your happiness about who you are and will negatively affect your communication with yourself.
The past will catch you up as you run faster I know. (Placebo, I Know)
The other signal regarding the lack of happiness is feeling uncomfortable with yourself when you have to stay alone for long hours.
This is an accepted truth that human brain tends to work on incomplete things in the background and tends to complete them as soon as possible no matter what it is. Basically, if you don’t know how to manage it human nature is going to work against you then.
The situation can simply be defined as a feeling of anxiety after long hours of loneliness. The most common observable result of this feeling is pushing you to think about the past or future rather than staying in the moment and feeling the pleasure of it. At an instant you can find yourself at the moment that you are judging yourself because of what you haven’t done two years ago or instant jumping between possible lasting observable effects of these things in your future.
You are basically jumping between past and future without reaching to any productive conclusions.
The possible reason behind it is that maybe you faced, in your life, the ongoing incomplete things that came from the past. It doesn’t have to mean that things are coming from distant past it could be the recent past as well.
There are a couple of common examples that many people possibly have already faced before. Most popular ones are thinking about regrets and trying to reconsider all the other possible ways of doing things instead of doing what you have already done.
In other words, this is like living in the ‘world of what ifs’, trying to determine again and again different versions of breaking points of life but we have to accept that there is no end for it since there are millions of different versions.
Another popular concept is thinking again and again on past relationships whether romantic relationships or any kind of relationship that you feel incomplete. If you experienced this before it is easy to understand for you that there is such a strong cycle in your mind like a trap just taking you away from your moment and directing you to the dark and endless holes in the world of what-if. Because you can create numerous versions of one scenario in order to become a hunter of your new reality.
Another cause of feeling uncomfortable with yourself is your previous promises to yourself.
Your purposes that you didn’t actualize because of some reasons, maybe because of wrong timing or lack of resources.
Whatever the reason is, your brain still remembers even if you try to forget it. Most of the time they are buried deep inside your unconsciousness and it doesn’t affect your daily life. Whenever they find a way to get to the surface, they demotivate you enough to not do anything. Incomplete things create different kinds of negative feelings on you such as a feeling of being useless or a loser.
Therefore if you want to prevent facing these defects in your mind and don’t want to let them create distance between you and your dreams or don’t want to feel uncomfortable when you stay alone, there are a couple of basic things to do.
Firstly, stop postponing things that you have decided to do. Take action and finalize them. It doesn’t have to end with success all the time, failure is also acceptable since you can try again. Even failure is better than leaving them incomplete otherwise, your mind is going to remind you periodically and will continue to make noise inside you. If you decided to do something then do it and face the results.
Secondly, create a to-do list and visualize everything for your brain what is completed and what is coming next. It is going to reduce burden in your mind and make things clearer for you.
Last but not the least, sometimes it is better to accept things that remained as incomplete somehow in the past if there is no way to change them anymore. If there is no possibility to change it, you can direct your energy for the new and present rather going into the cycle of what-if.
If you can reduce incomplete things in your mind, you can concentrate on your moment instead of concentrating on your past and instead of concentrating on their possible effect on your future and all the different versions of it. Reducing incomplete things in your life helps you to feel more comfortable with yourself whatever you are doing and how long you are staying alone with yourself.
Don’t let the unrealistic desire of perfection destroy your inner connection with you no matter that the expectation of perfection is imposed by which source. Otherwise, it is impossible to feel sufficient in your life when you are aiming to reach an unrealistic perfection illusion.
This is the most harmful concept and one of the most dangerous diseases of this decade in my opinion.
The obsession of perfection affects everyone just like an epidemic. We all are struggling to be perfect because of the belief that satisfaction is impossible while having imperfections.
This is one of the expectations created by an external stimulus such as creating role models as an example of a perfect person and perfect life. Whatever the source is, it is creating unrealistic expectations on people. We believe that if we are far away from that model of perfection, in any aspect of it, there is no way to be happy.
This imposition is creating an incredible gap between you and your inner self which cannot be fixed by anything else than accepting yourself as who you are.
We have to accept that there is nothing in this world that is completely perfect and all of these perfection illustrations are just an illusion. If you try to reach there desperately, it is just going to end with unescapable disappointment and feeling of insufficiency.
Your energy is worth spending on reaching a better version of yourself rather than trying to be perfect. You cannot be perfect in everyone’s eyes. It is better to accept that you don’t need to be perfect for having great things in your life and being happy with your life. Or becoming the person you want to be does not mean you have to be perfect for that.
