Requesting a Job Referral: How To
How to Request a Job Referral — The Right Way.
Among the many other regurgitated pieces of advice on this topic on the internet.
Forget about the referral for a second -
FOCUS ON BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP FIRST.
Lemme explain.
The Main Problem
You want a referral from an online stranger you just met yesterday. It doesn’t work like that.
A problem in today’s job market is that applicants randomly solicit referrals from strangers, mainly on LinkedIn.
Understandably, there is some desperation when seeking a job, so referrals can somewhat impact the hiring process.
But this blinds the applicant to the wrong approach of seeking them.
Give a sample example:
~2:56 PM: “X viewed your profile.”
~2:59 PM: “X sent you a connection invite.”
~3:17 PM: You accept X’s connection invite.
~3:19 PM: “Thank you for accepting my invitation. Please give me a referral to apply to this company so that I can…”
You don’t even know X at all.
Partly why many applicants get ghosted from their immediate ask.
It also suggests “using someone” to get a job and forget them thereafter, which might not always be the case.
Which is why creating relationships works better.
The Relationships Game
Create a relationship first — The referrals will come.
Creating a relationship is a long game;
It’s people-centric, plus life is an 80% relationship game anyway.
Find someone you aspire to be in X years.
They may (not) be at your target company,
But they might know someone who is.
And likely that someone is similar to your aspiration in X years.
Connect through a coffee chat.
And know the person first.
Before thinking of how to extract a referral from them.
Learn their journey, their interests, and lifestyle,
See what aspects of their careers you can replicate to yours.
This is how mentorships start.
One thing I’ve learned:
More strangers than not are actually willing to help you-Your first impression could make or break it.
Once you’ve both identified your shared synergies
(This takes time — Days, Weeks, Months),
Your referral request may come in,
Noting that it’s not guaranteed.
The idea behind a referral
If I refer you, it’s because:
~ “I know you.”
~ “I know your goals.”
~ “I’ve worked with you before.”
~ “I know your strengths and capabilities.”
~ “I know you’re not fabricating your resume.”
~ “I can speak to your work ethic and character.”
~ “If called upon, I can undeniably vouch for you to the hiring committee.”
The same goes for Letters of Recommendation.
Anyway, your acquaintance will now be aware of your referral request.
Two likely outcomes:
- They may give you a referral.
- Or refer you to someone who might.
If no. 2, build another relationship over again while maintaining the first one.
Why is this useful?
Because when someone knows you for who you are,
- They can see other fitting opportunities for you.
- They can coach you for the role whose referral you seek.
- They can leverage their network to support you.
- Free mentorship.
Speaking on case no. 3,
One of my mentors told me something profound.
“Titus, tell me what your goals are — I want you to have as many conversations as possible with my network that can inform your decision.”
And because we’re on referrals,
One referral will only get you a decent shot at a job — one good relationship can lead to several hundred referrals over your career if played rightly.
In seeking a referral,
Seek a relationship first.
The referrals will come.
Play the long game.
Happy Friday.
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~T.K.K
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