Self Talk: The Missing Piece in the Puzzle of Life
A real game-changer
I strongly believe in the insane pools of power stored in the valleys of ‘self-talk’. How often do you self-talk? And when you do, what do you talk about? Is it about worldly affairs, who did what, gossip, controversies, or something else? Well, here’s the thing. What you say to others isn’t that important, what others say to you is even less essential. The game-changer is in what you say to yourself.
It doesn’t matter how much you boast about your plans to others or how you fake your confidence in front of your friends or how much you show off about your achievements to your relatives. What truly matters is the kind of self-talk you indulge in when you are all by yourself.
The reason why I have titled ‘self-talk’ as the missing piece of the puzzle or perhaps I should say, the most substantial piece of the puzzle, is mainly because the actions you take in life are in exact sync with the kind of talking going on in your head by you.
The more charismatic and energetic self-talk you practice, the more vibrant and exuberant you are likely to feel.
But nowadays, most people are super busy portraying the best version of themselves to society even if it means actually undermining oneself from the inside and always feeling insecure about oneself.
Don’t Underestimate the Power of Self Talk
Sooner than later you are gonna have an epiphany that no matter how bold and courageous people think you are, if you are hollow from the inside, you are not gonna stick around for long with that macho image of yours.
What do you think about yourself when you look at your own image in front of the mirror? What is it that you say looking at your beautiful face? Let me tell you that you gotta be careful with the kind of words you use and the type of thoughts you have swirling in your mind.
I have said it before, I will say it again, this shit matters. Self-talk matters. The attitude you carry on your shoulders matters a ton. Words and thoughts can very well shape your life.
That glittery confidence, the drooling passion, the hardcore dedication — they will all be visible in your eyes, provided you leverage self-talk in the right and efficient manner.
One way is where you are accumulating the energy through external sources and temporary stimuli and the other is where energy is emanating from within you. Both are totally different. Obviously, the latter is more prominent and desirable. Two people with the same skill set and experience will radiate different sets of vibes and energy.
The one who knows his worth and acknowledges what his true potential is, his eyes will do their own kind of talking which will be something worth looking for. All of this can happen with a pinch of self-talk adequately sprinkled over you.
I AM THE GREATEST
Muhammad Ali popularly said, “I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.” He didn’t say he was the greatest after actually becoming the greatest boxer of his time, he became the greatest because he said so in the first place.
Let’s do a small activity and see what happens.
You have to repeat after me, with full conviction on the top of your lungs and not just superficially, “I am the GREATEST! I AM THE GREATEST PERSON EVER BORN IN THIS UNIVERSE! I KNOW I AM.”
Don’t simply say it just for the heck of it. Don’t even say it just from your mouth, say it from your heart with full of zeal and enthusiasm. Say it like you meant it like your life depends on it. Don’t stop and keep on repeating it until your neighbor is forced to call the cops.
Can you feel the vibes? The energy? Are the positive sensations and vibrations swimming across your body up and down? I know I did feel it too, even while writing this.
Just imagine, even without any prior experience or practice if it can instill such a positivity serum in us, what will happen if we keep on practicing such kind of self-talk like prayers, always reverberating in our ears? Your life will change for good beyond your wildest imagination is what will happen.
Self Talk Demands Balls
People don’t have the courage and balls to say something so bold and daring like this, which is precisely why the majority of them live an ordinary life, with their heads held down. Your life is proportionate to the kind of self-talk you practice and the magnitude of the thoughts you entertain.
Think small, and your life will remain small. So, you might as well think big. But it also begs the question, why even stop there? Why not think of being the ‘greatest of all time, not only in this world but in this Universe’?
Too far-fetched? See, that’s exactly where the problem lies. If one cannot even say it with a straight face while he is alone, with conviction in his heart and confidence in his eyes, how on earth can one expect to do something extraordinary?
Everyone wants to do something extraordinary, become insanely successful, but they wanna do it by doing what everyone else is doing, following the status quo, blending in.
The Real Definition of ‘Greatness’
Now, let me clarify one thing. By ‘greatest’ I don’t mean someone who is curing cancer or making species interplanetary — sure they are noble pursuits — I actually imply anyone, irrespective of the field you are in, whose work is extraordinary or is leaving no stones unturned to make it extraordinary.
It can be as simple as cleaning dishes or a Chartered Accountant or simply being a parent. You don’t have to make the world remember your name, you just have to get down to being the best in whatever you do. If there are two teachers in a school, then who’s the greatest?
The one who is more popular in the school or the one whose teaching is extraordinary? The difference should be crystal between the two. Name, fame, wealth, and status are all external factors, which may or may not reflect the actual caliber of the person.
The thing that really matters is whether you know it in your heart that you are the greatest teacher ever born on the face of the earth or not? If you know it deep within that you are honest in what you do, enjoy each and every minute of doing your job, and you put in every last ounce of your blood, sweat, and tears to such an extent that even ‘teaching’ is proud of the fact you are the one doing it, then you are the greatest baby, period.
Greatest, therefore, implies that anyone who’s putting everything, everything means every single thing, into making any kind of work great and something never seen before. As simple as that. If you are doing this, well then, you are the greatest. No questions asked.
Don’t Jinx the Effect of ‘Self Talk’
Don’t talk yourself out of it, or underestimate your potentials and capabilities. The right kind of Self Talk can and will amplify you even more in unthinkable and unimaginable ways.
Once you let this whole charade sink in, it will automatically start coming from your within. Every time you look yourself in the mirror, say something beautiful so that even the image looking back at you is proud and grateful to be your image.
Some people are so skeptical of their own potential, that they are hesitant to say out loud that “I am the best at what I do”.
In fact, they are so dubious that even when no one’s around they are more concerned with what society and the rest of the world will think about them.
Well, if society has a problem with your attitude and your way of conducting yourself, then it’s society’s goddamn problem and not yours. Damn if you are the one busy thinking what the society is gonna think about, then what will be left for the society to think about? Think about it.
And I haven’t even given you the best part yet. Simply saying such huge ass dialogues to yourself will make you do what you are saying. Even if you are not the best, or are not even trying to be the best, self-talk can change that.
It can mend your mental structure, change your thought patterns, and consequently will elevate the standard of your actions sooner than later. So you might as well start doing it.
Self Talk Will Elevate Your Worth in Your Own Eyes
Some people will believe in you, and some won’t. The people who believe in you today may not believe in you tomorrow, and people who are skeptical about you today may become your biggest supporters tomorrow.
That’s how this world likes to function. So, let them be. Your job is to believe in yourself. Your self-talk is the talk you should pay the most attention to and focus on. The world can make you a hero and a zero in a snap of their fingers.
That’s why I said in the beginning how paramount the importance of self-talk is. If a person has nothing good or beneficial to say to his own self and instead takes society’s word to determine his self-worth, well, then he’s in for one hell of a bumpy ride.
This is really common with public figures. They tend to look at themselves from the eyes of the public, which is a pretty grave situation to be in. This is the primary reason why their lives are full of ups and downs, violent mood swings, and a sense of incompleteness.
Society loves volatility. They would be more than happy to drive you to the ground from the very pedestal they made for you. And I don’t blame them. That’s what a society does and excels at.
Ultimately, it’s your own outlook, the way you look at yourself, the things you say to yourself aka the ‘self-talk’, which is what actually matters at the end of the day. You can and should come out of this whole trap by changing your definition of success or greatness.
Don’t let society, your relatives, friends, and families decide whether you are a big deal or not. Create your own mantra of greatness and then see for yourself where you truly stand.
Stop Trying to Win Everyone’s Approval
Self Talk will help you realize the fact that you shouldn’t consider yourself awesome just because the people around you say so. Today they are saying something, tomorrow they won’t give a second’s thought and will retract what they claim.
You should consider yourself amazing because you think you deserve it because you know it in your heart that you are a compassionate person who cares for others because only you have seen yourself grinding day and night. After all, it’s you who are aware of all the sacrifices you make for the greater good, and because only you truly know how honestly, dedicatedly, passionately, and tenaciously you got to where you are.
Nobody else but you and you alone should be one to label yourself as ‘successful’. Trust me, you are gonna be better off this way. You wouldn’t have to validate your progress from society and neither would you have to wait for their approval.
If you truly become the greatest in your own eyes, then your talks will make even more sense, your eyes will speak a different language in itself, and your actions will be on a whole other level. The people around you will feel totally different kinds of vibes coming from you.
And I am gonna let you in on a little secret. Even society applauds those who actually are brave and bold enough to not seek society’s consent in the first place, and are self-confident about their own abilities and potential.
Attract Using the Spell of Self-Talk
If you could be like this, then people would automatically wanna connect with you. Unusually attractive energy will be radiating from within you, which will make the individuals around you swoon all over you.
Everybody likes energy, and everybody loves to be connected with energy-emitting sources. So, instead of extracting energy from everyone around you, executing the right kind of ‘self-talk’ will help you grow into a full-fledged energy-abundant source, exuding energy all around the world.
Ask yourself, do you fancy dull, tired, frustrated, and negative people, who know nothing but to criticize anything and everything around them and belittle and backbite people? Or do you dig those always charged up, full of exuberance and high spirits, positive people who know nothing but to give life to anything and everything around them and support and motivate people?
It’s a no-brainer. So, you have to decide which category of people you wanna become in life. Of course, I am guessing you wanna be in the latter kind of group. Now the obvious question is, “How can we remain charged up and excited?”, “What can we do to have positivity and energy radiate within us”, “Is there a way to fill our vessels with inspiration so much so that it starts inspiring people around us as well?”, “How can we make ourselves so attractive that once people who connect with us never leave us ever again?”
Well, I have already given you the answer, I will give it to you again. It all boils down to the right kind of self-talk, the shit you keep on murmuring in your mind, the beliefs you have set about yourself, the ideologies you have adapted, the philosophy you follow.
All of these play a vital role in creating an aura around you, the kind of aura that can either make you or break you, push you forward or throw you backward, continue in your progression or your regression, make you better, or worse, result in happiness or gloominess. This is why you gotta be extra careful and more aware about whatever you say to yourself when you are all alone.
Even though you have the right to remain silent, we all know that’s rarely the case as we keep on babbling something or the other in our minds non-stop. Anything and everything you say can and will be used for you or against you in the court of life.
You have the right to consult a wise person for any advice before talking to yourself. If you cannot afford one, you are more than welcome to take my advice.
Ameliorate your Vision
Your energy will be in sync with how you see yourself. As simple as that.
“I really knew I was rich when I had $10,000. I knew a long time ago that I was going to be doing something I loved doing with people that I loved doing it with.” That’s what Warren Buffet said when he was just 21, way before he amassed his wealth and when nobody even knew him.
In fact, I even saw a video of Jeff Bezos’s colleague who said that Jeff knew he was gonna become wealthy in life. Unfortunately, I cannot find the source video, but if my memory serves me right, I did listen to it.
So, things like ‘self-talk’ do matter, even more than you can probably imagine, in almost every sector of your life.
If you are a team leader in your company, leading a team, but you yourself are not excited and fired up about the project then how can you expect your team members to put in their best. You are running a business, but you yourself are not passionate and dedicated enough towards it, then how can you possibly expect your employees to work with their full potential.
If you are the head of the family and you have convinced yourself that these relationships are totally meaningless and hopeless, then how in the world can you expect your family members to make up for the rocky relations.
If you have an extraordinary charge in you, an enthusiastic zeal, a never-ending fire in your belly, an uncanny vivacity, and are filled with effervescence, then your energy becomes contagious and starts spreading like wildfire.
The same formula is applicable in every aspect of life. Becoming the best and the greatest, not in the eyes of the world, but in your own eyes is the more prudent strategy and self-talk can act as a catalyst in this process.
Avoid This Misunderstanding
Now, let me also tell you that this is no magic spell or shortcut, which will change your life situations overnight. Nor does it mean that you stop grinding or putting in the effort you were putting, just because you have put your head in your ass by missing the whole point of ‘self-talk’.
It is also not aimed towards making you egoistic or arrogant. It simply conveys the fact that you can and should strive to be the best version of yourself. If you keep on saying that ‘I am the greatest, then if not immediately but eventually you will actually become one.
The main objective is to get you started and help you realize that it’s attainable for each and every one of you to dream big. And if by just saying this one simple line, that “I am the greatest in whatever I do”, you feel inspired and motivated to actually become the greatest then what’s the harm.
You can be the greatest parent, the greatest child, the greatest footballer, the greatest entrepreneur, the greatest CEO, the greatest thinker, the greatest spouse, the greatest neighbor, the greatest influencer, and of course the greatest blogger. I mean, why the hell not! One won’t even realize but his actions will automatically change their course, on just convincingly and persistently practicing the right ‘self talk’.
Being the greatest involves being courageous enough to be able to follow the path paved by your heart, no matter what. If you can actually be like this, then no power will be able to constraint you, and no force will be able to calm the storm in you. The majority of the population won’t have the audacity to even be able to think of being the greatest, let alone actually saying it out loud.
Consequently, every mediocre person also likes to be involved with the ‘greatest’. Most of the middle-class people will kill to get a job in the greatest company because they feel secure and trust the company.
So, why instead of getting involved with the greatest all the time, you yourself strive to become the greatest? People would wanna come and get connected to you. This is a basic psyche of human nature. Everyone wanna be in the vicinity of the strong and powerful. And once you get this, then life will become all the more interesting and fun.
Fake it till you make it
You must have heard of the proverb, “if you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it”, so why not put this philosophy to good use? Even if you know today that you are lying to yourself, it won’t be long before you actually start taking it as the truth. It will become obvious in your eyes. And once you accept it as a fact, then sooner or later the people around you too won’t be able to help but notice this spark in you.
Until you are not ready to accept this and actually believe in it, try faking it. The risk-return ratio is unmatchable here. In the worst-case scenario, you will probably make a fool of yourself or will embarrass yourself or fail in a venture or two. But the upside potential is literally limitless and endless. I don’t know why any sane person should not pounce all over this deal.
Simply looking at the mirror, talking to yourself, and saying it with full confidence and persuasion, “I am the GREATEST!”. Or simply talk in your head whenever you are all by yourself.
Ultimately, someone from you guys reading this blog will go ahead and do something worth looking at. It will be that handful of people who will understand this concept, genuinely apply this methodology, and actually imbibe it within them.
And you know, once you diligently practice this kind of ‘self-talk’, raw talents and unbeknownst skills that resided inside you, which you were totally oblivious of, will start crawling outside the barrel and present themselves in front of you in a silver platter. You will surprise yourself at every turn of life.
You are a human being who has emotions and feelings, and not some money churning machine set out to earn x amount of money every month to satisfy society. Don’t count yourself short or underestimate your worth. You are more than you think you are. Stop drifting in your life, and start living your life.
Self Talk will bridge the distance in your journey of becoming extraordinary from ordinary.
Originally published here.
