Selfishness or Self-Love
When saying no becomes an act of self-compassion.
Table Manners Shaped The Way I Love…Seriously.
One of my earliest memories is my mother spoon-feeding me my dinner after everyone else had already finished eating. I had always been a slow eater. I wasn’t exactly picky; I ate a little bit of everything in small amounts. I just did it very slowly.
Over the years, she had devised a bulletproof way to get me to finish my food. In between each spoonful, she would say, “This one is for your grandma…this one is for your father…this one is for your aunt.” When she ran out of family members to invoke, she would bring in the heavy guns, “Think of all the children in the world who don’t have enough to eat.” That one always got me. It was impossible to say no. I felt so guilty I would reluctantly open my mouth and let the choo-choo train in.
Overall, the message was loud and clear. Saying No (no matter how politely you framed it) meant that you were selfish. And no one likes brats.
A Cautionary Tale About Not Valuing Your Own Time
Years later, while studying in London, I met a tall, dark Brazilian that I fell in love with immediately. He made me a Samba Bossa Nova playlist that we would…
