Selflessness Doesn’t Exist
This will make you think
We’d do anything to protect our identity.
If what we believe in is strong enough, we might even sacrifice our lives or kill so our identity remains intact until death. You don’t have to look far to see if this is true. Terrorist attacks, suicides, or murders in the name of honor, love, or religion say we value ideals more than existence.
If you are or want to be selfless, you’d sacrifice your pleasures or endure pain for the sake of others. I believe the reason is we care more about our ideals than the pleasure and happiness we miss out on or the pain or sorrow we’d have to endure.
People with ideals are strong. We respect them even though we might not agree with them.
- A widow might remain single choosing to be unhappy for the rest of her lifetime.
- A person might believe in staying true all the time even when he makes everyone around unhappy and angry making his own life miserable.
- A person might devote her entire life to selfless acts even when they are not rewarding.
But why do people hold on to their ideals, despite the discomfort and sorrow it brings them? I think it’s because the pain of not reaching their standards hurts more than any pain the world could bring.
- A terrorist might think giving up on his beliefs is less tolerable than the pain of death or the misery he causes to his fellow human.
- The widow might think the hate and disrespect she would harbor against herself for being disloyal is more than any happiness in love.
- The honest person might think the damage to his pride is more resentful than anything he could accomplish with lies.
- The selfless person might think the thought of the sorrow of others is more unbearable than that of the discomfort to herself.
Having a purpose is great, you become driven. The world gets better every day because of selfless people.
But if we ask a selfless woman why she is that way, she might reply: “It hurts to see so many people suffering when I can do something about it.” The key is it hurts her. Or she might say “It makes me happy to see others happy.” The key, here again, is it makes her happy.
Let’s ask a shopping addict why she is that way. She might say: “I get jealous. It hurts to see my peers having more than me.”
In both cases, they are trying to relieve themselves of their own pain or become happier. The only difference is the way they go about it.
We love and respect selfless people more though. They usually have more self-love and self-respect too. I wonder if that’s the driving force behind their kindness. Love and respect from others and themselves? Isn’t that what everyone wants after our basic needs are met?
We all feel the need to be happy with ourselves. Validation from others is a sure-shot way to get that. Invoking fear might make a murderer or a violent person happy. The widow we talked about earlier might love and respect herself more despite the loneliness. Some people think being financially rich would make them happy. Video games make some happy.
It seems to me like the end goal of everyone is the same, although the path they follow to get there is different.
If that’s true, aren’t we all just tending to our own needs?
Isn’t the person you’re being selfless towards just a path to reach your destination — your happiness, a selfish goal?
Is selflessness even possible?
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