Smart Lessons From A Couple Of Cardinal Rules
This topic is one that many countless people have covered or written about. Whether it’s on the world wide web somewhere, or even right here on medium, it is very easy to find pieces published about “Cardinal Rules.” That doesn’t make one author a copycat over another. At least I know that for my sake. It seems to have become a platform that touches many.
I think the subject is a very interesting one, and here is my view, and my take on some of the Cardinal Rules. I can appreciate the fact that this topic does interest many people. It’s a philosophy and a way that is interpreted quite differently as it’s perceived from person to person. Today I wanted to share those rules, and compare them to the my story that I’ve been living.
One of the main chapters of our cardinal rules is one that really connects to me. It tells us to “make peace with our past.” Now when we look at it, it is easy to see its magnitude. Because everybody’s response to that can end up being totally different.
As all our lives, choices, and mistakes vary greatly and a past experience may be a great lesson to one person, while to another person, the same thing could be irrelevant.
It’s a valuable piece of advice for someone like me who had once lived a past of many years in total dark ruin, enslaved to a heroin addiction and a tortured mental health.
Along with that life came endless mistakes and choices, and constant hurt to loved ones around me, and myself at my own hands. This cardinal rule of making peace with our past, can open up avenues, never thought deserved, that journey us back to a place of stability, contentment, and spirituality.
This cardinal rule is crucial for growth, and we can’t really evolve on without it. It teaches us about forgiving ourselves, and learning that we don’t have to walk the earth in shame and guilt the rest of our lives. Especially when we have become long since remorseful.
So, again, it’s a cardinal rule for everyone to try and make peace with ourselves. The first step is forgiving oneself.
Keeping the focus on ourselves is another idea that connects to another cardinal rule. That one tells us “not to compare ourselves to anyone else.” Jump high, and far, and go for what you want, no matter how complex, or impossible something may seem.
Once we get other people’s lives out of our heart and mind, we can find better chances to succeed. Sometimes in ways we never had once imagined.
This right here is not just a one size fits all kind of philosophy either. It can often go two fold, or even three fold or more. When I struggled with this, it hit me from different angles, affecting me in multiple ways.
First off, I dealt with a deep and difficult depression. A feeling of being a failure, because everyone in my life seemed to be getting more and more successful, while moving further and further away. It reminded me of an almost reversed type of judgement. I allowed “perceived” fortune and happiness to bring me down, when I really hadn’t even been given access to the full picture.
It taught me to never bring assumptions upon others. And not allow the business of other people or other things enslave me in a mindset that brought with it, no accuracy.
It’s a tough time these days to keep our business to ourselves. We see so very much of everybody else, every day, likely even every hour at times. We make decisions that are never guided by proof, and merely guided by our somewhat blinded outlook.
One of the last lessons this has been able to grant me, is a better focus on me and my life. Trying to clear away any distraction about what the next person was allegedly doing, and keep the focus on what I know I was doing. It got me back into a better motivated state, and a frame of mind that was realistic, and kept steady.
So these two particular cardinal rules of keeping the focus and comparison off of other people’s lives, along with making peace with our past, are two important factors for finding that sense of centered peace. They have been crucial components with my own self help, and I continue to refocus myself on them every single day.
One last piece of advice about comparing oneself to other people; we have to remember that we really don’t even know what another person has been through, or what they are really going through even now. Richness and fame on facebook often doesn’t go much further than the screen you’re seeing them on.
is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Editor, Advocate, and recovering addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and countless other nonfiction topics. His articles, publications, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Hoping to reach others out there still struggling.