Smooth Sailing: The Freedom of Forgiveness in this time of Crisis
“There must be Ghosts all the country over, as thick as the sand of the sea. And then we are, one and all, so pitifully afraid of the light.”
Henrik Ibsen
In the book Forgive For Good: A Proven Prescription For Health and Happiness (New York: Harper Collins, 2002), Stanford Professor Fred Luskin emphasizes a forgiveness methodology based on rigorous research which documents the effects of unresolved grievances on one’s emotional and physical health. After serving as Educational Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, which emanated from Dr. Luskin’s book and research, I adapted this process using the framework of systemic change in my practice to facilitate those seeking peace and wellness. It is even more relevant given today's difficult and trying time, as we cope with a pandemic.
To begin with, it needs to be understood that forgiveness is not condoning or minimizing a hurt we have suffered. This is a major misconception. Forgiveness is first and foremost for oneself — — to choose to live in the present and not allow past grievances or pain to take up unnecessary space in one’s head. When a grievance is embedded and shows no resolution, the “fight or flight” part of our nervous system becomes revved up. This part of our nervous system is great for reacting to a…
