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Someone, Please Give Me A Mansplanation

And do it before the world ends, please

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

“I’ve been living under a rock for a while now. I know.”

“Oh look, apparently someone has some mansplaining to do.”

“First tell me what that means, so I know how to mansplain.”

“You’re already doing it by being your same old patriarchal self. And now there’s a way to label you. And even if people are wrong in their assumptions, it will feel good saying it.”

“So…it’s a good thing to mansplain?”

“Only if you wish to be clearly identified.”

“Is being labeled as a ‘mansplainer’ a good thing?”

“No. In fact, if it were to be analyzed for what it is, it’s a form of sex discrimination. And society gets away with using it liberally right now. Mansplaining gets added to Google while ‘they’ gets changed into a singular pronoun. These are very exciting times for language.”

“Now that you’ve explained it that way, I imagine men wouldn’t much like being told they are mansplaining. It mustn’t feel good to be labeled as bad while being told I’m not listening — at the same time.”

“You see, I feel like you’re mansplaining right now. Butthurt. You’re gathering information so that you can misinform others later. And it’s because you are used to being in a position of power your whole life. White man with privilege. Old and outdated. You need to step out of the way and accept that radical changes are happening.”

“Thank you for mansplaining this to me.”



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