Sounds And Silence Of The Sea
Sea is sometimes scary, sometimes a savior, and sometimes it reflects its serenity and heals. I look at the sea in varying emotional states. Solitude accompanies me to the woods and sea. And the most hidden emotions surface. I feel the pain and joy of many relived moments.
Memories lost for years and decades reappear. The pain of losing loved ones finds me near the sea. For some reason, I relive their presence near the infinite waters and the sounds of the never-ending waves.
I spent three days on a silent beach last month, watching the seashore day and night. I never stayed so close to the sea before. Life’s turbulence and harshness accompanied me there too, but the sounds of the sea alleviated the pain. I chose to live with misery for some reasons and eventually learned not to complain and focus on what matters. Easier said than done, I fail often to focus on the positives, but I believe I am progressing. I am not comprehending well the changes life has offered in the past few years. And I admire the past so much that I do not accept what has changed and gone forever. There is a disconnect between comprehending the truth that I am aware of and my wish not to accept it. Pain connects the two, and I do not deny suffering: I create it and live it.
Mindfulness helps. Silence of the sea helps. Listening to the inner chatter helps. There is no ambiguity except the desires that blur the perceptions and let the suffering continue. I am trying to teach my mind to accept the reality and not chase the past. Failing often and believing I will move on, and maybe I will.
The night sky and the recurring waves brought stillness in the moments. There was a rhythm repeating itself without any change. I seek such stillness in humans and relationships, but never found.
Sea never stops listening. Sea proposed the answers to questions I do not know why I created. Sea suggested staying brave. Nothing is such that I cannot deal with. Sea is silent and patient. I keep coming back to the seashore often: to be myself, to complain, to share, to believe, and to see the light. Sea calls me. And I trust him and let go of my fears and suffering.
Three days were less to heal and cherish the silence. But all I had was those few moments. In those days and nights, all I could see was the sea. All I could hear was the sea.
I returned home with new moments. And sounds and silence of the sea accompanied me for a while.
Thank you for reading.
