Stop Listening to Destructive Words
If you want to advance your life.
“You move abroad to find a foreign guy only!”
“Why would you work in another country while you can get a job here?”
“You move to another country and leave your son here for you to have fun!”
“You’re such an irresponsible mother by leaving your son!”
I heard those words often before I moved abroad. They hurt my feeling. Hurt more because they came out from family members.
But what I did? I left anyway. Why? Because I have my plan. I want growth. I want to advance. It is not only for me but also for my son. Yes, the jobs and education in my country are good. But if I could get better, why not?
Destructive words may affect mental health. You can be stressful and demotivated.
If I listened to those destructive words, I couldn’t provide more for myself and my son. If I listened to them, I wouldn’t gain new experiences in a new country.
Stop listening to the destructive words if you want to advance your life.
They Kill Your Creativity
Destructive word is different from constructive critics.
Based on dictionary.com, destructive means something that tends to destroy; causing destruction or much damage, and tending to overthrow, disprove, or discredit. Destructive words mean words that tend to destroy, cause damage and discredit other people.
While constructive means helping to improve; promoting further development or advancement. So, constructive critics mean words that help other people to improve, develop and advance.
Listening to destructive words kill your creativity. They don’t help you to improve and become better with whatever you do. It’s because you don’t know which part to fix and how you can improve and develop yourself. You are lost. And when you are lost, it will be difficult to be creative.
If you listen when someone says that,” You are an untalented writer!”. What can you do when you don’t have talent? Nothing. What can you fix when you don’t have talent? Nothing. That’s it and you might quit.
It would be different when someone says that,” You could write better next time. You need to learn more about making points and giving examples”. There is a point there for you to know which area you can learn and develop. You could find a writing course or learn from a senior writer, read more and practice what you learn. From there, you will educate yourself to become more creative and improve your writing.
If you listen to destructive words, you will never learn. When you never learned, you won’t have knowledge and skill. Then, it will be difficult for you to be creative.
Lose Identity
Identity is who a person is, or the qualities of a person or group that make them different from others — Cambridge Dictionary-
You know your characteristics and qualities. You know you have a purpose for doing what you are doing. You have goals to fulfilled and have your way to achieve them. These are your identity. They make you what you are. If you listen to any destructive word, you will lose your identity.
Moving abroad and leave my son with my mother doesn’t define me as a bad mother (and I know I am not). I won’t abandon my son. Moving abroad is my way to achieve my goal. Have a better life and gain experience.
If I listened to someone who said that I am an irresponsible mother by leaving my son, it means I lose my identity. Because this is not who I am.
No Confidence
Sometimes destructive words could make you lose confidence. You will hesitate to continue or step forward. You are fear of making mistakes. You don’t want to hear other destructive words from people.
Listening to destructive words could make you doubt your plan and decision. Or even your intention. You will wonder whether it is the right path to choose? Is it a selfish intention?
If I listened to the destructive words that I got, I would question again about my plan. Am I selfish leaving my son? I would also fear if my decision was wrong. The result? I would still be in my country now, stuck, and wouldn’t have any experience working abroad.
When you stop listening to destructive words, you will be confident. You will keep moving forward with your plan and dream. You will learn how you can improve and be better. You won’t fear making mistakes because a mistake is inevitable. If it happened, then fix it and find a way to go back to the right track.
Stuck
When you give yourself a chance to listen to destructive words, you will be stuck where you are. You will experience no growth in your life or your career.
When singers in an audition hear, “You can’t sing. Your voice is terrible”, there are two choices they can make. Listen to it or do something about it. If they listen to such destructive words, they will stop their singing career and return to what they do. That could be something they don’t desire to do. They will be stuck where they are.
If they don’t listen to the destructive words, they will do something about it. Take a singing class and practice. They will develop their singing skill so they can join the audition next time.
As takeaways, destructive words are destroying and damaging, particularly our mental. We need to stop listening to destructive words. They can kill our creativity, losing our identity, losing our confidence. And those things lead us to no growth. We will have no growth because we are stuck where we are.
If you want to advance in your life, do what you plan as long it’s positive. Consider destructive words as your whip to improve and develop. Sometimes not listening to other people is a good choice. You only live once and you know what’s best for you.
