Stop Reacting & Start Responding
Well, what’s the difference? Reacting is allowing the situation to control you by controlling your emotions. Your emotions are your natural energy flow like being in a good mood. By reacting to the situation you are allowing it to take your energy disrupting your natural energy flow, going from a good mood to an instantly lower vibrational mood. I’m not saying don’t feel your feelings instead I mean to observe the situation and not to judge how you reacted. Instead reflect upon it to be more self-aware, to see where you are showing up and when your ego is showing up. Learn from it. What was the situation? What triggered you? Why? Did you respond or did you react? Was that situation something you can control?
Responding is you taking control of the situation and not allowing it to dictate how you feel. You can not control the universe but you do control whether you respond or you react. You do not give the situation the power to control your thoughts and emotions. You control that power, go with the flow of the universe.
The first step to start actively responding instead of reacting is to become aware. Start observing and reflecting without judgment. It is important to remember not to judge yourself, responding will take time and will become more natural over time. It’s muscle memory.
Responding can be broken down into 3 steps:
- Observing the situation
- Acknowledging what aspects of the situation you control and the parts you don’t control
- And making the conscious decision to focus on what you can control which is how you respond (the more practice, the more natural it will become). Again, you control the situation, do not allow the situation to control you.
Here are some everyday examples:
Situation: Spilled milk
React: Cry and be upset because the milk spelled?
Respond: accept that sometimes milk spills, clean it up, and move on. (you were excited to enjoy this cereal now there is a little setback but that’s ok it just a moment, don’t let a moment ruin an entire day.)
Situation: Rain on your wedding day:
React: Allow that to damper your mood, complain,
Respond: Ok, great I can not control the rain but I can still enjoy this beautiful day and the meaning behind it. (you can keep the energy of excitement for this wonderful moment in your life.)
Situation: Traffic
React: Honk, huff, puff, complain, maybe indulge in some road rage
Respond: Go with the flow, Use this time to be present, listen to your favorite song or podcast to keep your energy up.
Situation: Someone cuts you off, drives slow
Reaction: Road rage
Respond: Go around them, ok you tapped your break, big deal you are safe you are fine.
Situation: Someone is rude to you, or hangs up on you
Reaction: you are mean back, you allow this to upset you
Respond: You can chalk it up to they are having a bad day, but you were having a great day before encountering them do not allow them to rob you of your good day energy instead share that good day energy with them.
No matter the situation, Flat tire, traffic ticket, you have the power to react and allow it to control your whole day. Or, respond- acknowledge the situation, what is and isn’t in your control, and choose to focus on what you can control, take action and move on- continue to flow with life.
So next time you are faced with a situation that alters your mood take a moment to decide if you are reacting or responding, without judgment. Whatever you are doing you have the power to choose to always respond and focus on what you can control and take action on what is in your power and choose to go with the flow of life.
