Stop Trying to be Your Child’s Friend. Instead, Be Their Parent.
Your child doesn’t need you to be their friend, they need you to be their parent.
So, you want to be the “cool parent.” You want to be your kid’s buddy.
It’s super tempting, especially when you see your child growing up and desperately want to stay connected.
You think maybe if you act like their buddy, you’ll know everything that’s going on in their life.
Makes sense. We all want that.
But wait a minute.
Pause.
Reflect.
Is being their buddy really what they need? Nope. It’s not.
They need a parent. An actual parent. Not just a friend in a parent’s disguise.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But I want my child to like me!” Hey, it’s completely natural to want to have a warm, loving relationship with your child.
But where do you draw the line? And trust me, there’s a big, fat line that needs to be drawn between being a parent and being a friend.
Imagine this scenario for a minute. Your teenager wants to go to a party that goes late into the night.
Your friend-mode says, “Oh, let them have some fun; what’s the harm?”
Maybe you even start reminiscing about your own youthful adventures.
But then reality kicks in.
- What about their safety?
- What about setting boundaries?
- What about… What about…
Shouldn’t this be where the parent mode activates?
So, let’s tackle this whole friend versus parent situation.
Your child depends on you for so much more than friendship. They rely on you to help them set healthy boundaries.
You know, like telling them they can’t stay out past midnight on a school night.
Why? Because setting rules and boundaries gives them a sense of security and helps them understand limits.
And get this, it also teaches them about the power of consequences.
If they break the rules, something as simple yet impactful as taking away their phone for a day can make them understand the significance of their actions.
They need to know that actions have consequences, and who’s better to teach them that than you?
Let’s talk discipline. The term can sound old-fashioned. Harsh, even.
But here’s the deal. Discipline is a building block. A core component.
It’s about character. Doing homework before binge-watching Netflix. Discipline sets them up for life.
Self-discipline, like doing their chores, homework, or any other responsibilities, is something they should learn early on.
It’s a gift that will keep on giving throughout their life.
While we’re on the subject of gifts, every child has one or many. I’m talking about innate talents and abilities.
As a parent, you can help them discover what they are good at. Maybe your kid is the next Van Gogh or perhaps an Einstein in the making.
Encourage them to try different things; you’ll never know what hidden skills or interests they might uncover.
At the end of the day, what’s the end game?
It’s not about whether your kid “likes” you today, tomorrow, or even a year from now. No, no, it’s way bigger than that.
It’s about preparing them for adulthood. Your role is to be their guide, their mentor, and yes, their parent, not their buddy.
And if you’re feeling the pressure to be liked, let me ask you this; Who said parenting was a popularity contest?
Time for some harsh truths. Let’s look at some sobering stats on U.S. teens:
- 15.1% had a major depressive episode.
- 36.7% felt ongoing sadness or hopelessness.
- 18.8% considered attempting suicide.
- 15.7% actually made a suicide plan.
- 8.9% made a suicide attempt.
The numbers don’t lie. They’re scary.
We’re failing somewhere. As parents, as mentors. As a society.
The fix? Quality time. Real conversations. Being present.
It’s not about social media likes. It’s about real love. Unfiltered.
Be there when they fail a math test. Be there when they lose a friend. Just be there.
Don’t be a parent who just says “yes.” Be a parent who chooses what’s ‘best.’
Look, I get it, we all have this innate desire to be liked, especially by our kids.
But here’s the ultimate truth: Parenting isn’t a popularity contest; it’s a calling — a sacred duty to equip your child with the necessary tools to navigate this thing we call life.
This responsibility might involve setting rules they don’t like or making decisions they don’t agree with. But that’s okay.
What’s important is that you’re doing your utmost to prepare them for the future.
Your role is to establish healthy boundaries for them and teach them how to set their own as they grow.
This often means they won’t have the same liberties as their friends.
They might not be able to go to certain parties, download trendy but inappropriate apps, or have social media accounts when “everyone else does.”
But believe me, it’s worth it. By doing so, you’re teaching them valuable life skills that they will carry with them long into adulthood.
And hey, who knows? One day they might just thank you for it.
So, are you ready to be more than just a “cool” parent?
Are you prepared to take on the challenging yet incredibly rewarding role of being a parent who sets boundaries, instills discipline, and prepares their child for the rollercoaster of life?
I hope so because our kids are counting on us. They don’t need us to be their friends; they need us to be their parents.
Let’s take this responsibility seriously and do what we’re meant to do.
Let’s be the parents our children need, not the friends they already have plenty of.
✌️❤️
-Wayne
Drop your thoughts below. I’m curious to know. This is an important conversation. It’s vital. Let’s engage.
