Cognitive Psychology
Surprise! I’m Coming for You
Why I hate and fear surprises in all forms
I hate surprises, and I’ve been this way since I was a child. I did not like playing games in which people would sneak up on me behind my back and say “gotcha.” I didn’t like games like hide and seek or tag because you never knew who or what was coming and when.
I didn’t realize it then, but much later when I took a few psychology courses and read some self-help books, I learned that one reason I didn’t like surprises was the lack of control inherent in activities based on chance or other people’s motivations and decisions.
I wasn’t a control freak in the sense that I needed to determine everything I ate, wore, or engaged in. I was just plain scared of the unpredictable — those life events and processes that hid like ghosts or phantoms in the dark, musty corners of my mind, then jumped out in front of me to obstruct my path when I least expected or wanted it.
Once as a pre-adolescent I developed a series of painful ear infections that seemed to have a life of their own. They didn’t give warning; they just began with a tiny ache similar to a toothache that indicated something was wrong. The throbbing picked up steam until the pain became unbearable, at least to my younger self.
