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Talk To Yourself.

Go Ahead, Have A Deep Conversation With Yourself.

Photo by Meryl Merlin from Pexels

During my early 20s, I frequently solo backpacked away from my high-on-hills country Nepal to the more congested and urban India. While my objectives ranged from sea-seeing to India-experiencing — the fancy term I applied to generalize and convince myself was Self Exploration. Of course, I had no idea what that really meant. I had heard this term a lot in the spiritual books I read and thought I got the message.

So, I went to Kolkata, Gorakhpur, Delhi, Varanasi, Surat across multiple self-journeys. Friends and Family were not amused at my choice of leisure and some even went as far as calling me a lunatic.

I couldn’t explain to others what I was doing because I myself wasn’t clear about it. A feeling, a yearn told me to go on solo long journeys. And there was no way I could concisely explain that feeling to others. Not that I had interpreted it myself!

Now that a substantial amount of time has passed, I am beginning to understand the yearning that took me carelessly across the border without enough money to allow me to make a phone call back home had I lost my wallet:

I wanted to talk to myself.

And long solo journeys were perfect things to allow me to do that!

And talk to myself, I did. A lot!

Talking to yourself is all about having free conversations with yourself.

The difference between this and thinking being simply that: thinking is more of a specific act. You can talk to yourself about anything, anywhere, and in any order in your volition but you think about a certain thing in a certain order. If thinking is philosophy, Talking to yourself is literature. Poetry. Whatever!

Thinking, for example, can be about nothingness and about things that go absolutely nowhere, Talking to yourself always has context. The purpose is not so much to learn as much as is to converse. You can extract knowledge and amusements out of it in your convenience. Just like from conversations.

This is also different from reveries in that you are calmer and more under control of things under self-talks. Reveries are usually uncontrolled one-dimensional imaginations or divulgences. That is, they will mostly be either some kind of future dreaming or past worrying. Self-Talk is neither and can have both. It has multiple perspectives and they are not there to make you feel joyful or anxious. They are just voluntary conversations. In this way, if reveries are music, talking to yourself is still literature!

So, talking to yourself can have multiple forms such as loud-talk, writing, noting, etc. But forms hardly matter. It’s about the phase you are in and the thing you are comfortable with.

This way, I see five major importances of talking to yourself (TTY):

  • It allows you to be open with yourself
  • It allows you to empathize with yourself
  • It allows you to address your feelings
  • It allows you to know how your mind works
  • It reveals what you really desire

These are what those Indian journeys initiated in me which I follow to this day although I have long stopped solo backpacking.

Since there was no one else to talk to and nothing intellectually absorbing to do, I got a lot of time to open up with myself. By that I mean I allowed my thoughts to go wherever they wanted and quietly acted as an observer. The thoughts barked, yelled, motivated, inspired — they did all sorts of things. They argued with themselves. And I just calmly gave them the platform. I gave them the time. (BUT UNDER MY WATCH!) In this process, they revealed to me things I didn’t even know existed in me and I got used to those ‘things’.

This led to me being more tolerable with myself. Pre self-talks, even the simplest of harsh thoughts made me want to flush myself down the toilet. But I began empathizing with myself more after the talk sessions with myself. It has equipped me with a tool to explore and understand all the feelings that exist inside me. For example, I know which are intense, and which mild. The more you spend time with your feelings, the more you familiarize with them and understand them.

All this will lead to you understanding more about the workings of your mind and whatever it is that your individual self wants.

This process is not without its dangers of course. As I mentioned above, one can easily get lost in other forms of thoughtings. You have to keep things under your control. But not under such control that you end up celebrating nothingness.

And in no way should you allow yourself to be anxious and terrified.

These words might come in handy:

  • Strength
  • Courage
  • Calmness
  • Imagination
  • Playfulness

Happy Talks!






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Adesh Acharya

Adesh Acharya

Writer. Thinking, Experiencing. Mind-Life-Humans-Cosmos. Subscribe to me via email. More at |

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