The 1 Way You Can Find An Obsession— Why I Disagree with Tim Denning
Finding what to double down on and what to leave behind.
I read this article by Tim Denning this week.
It’s about finding obsessions —I pretty much disagree with the whole thing.
Here’s why
The TLDR of Tim’s story is we already know our obsessions.
Things we would do regardless of anything.
And all we need to do is create the habit of doubling down on them to live an awesome life.
“Stop pretending you don’t know what your obsession is. You do.”
This is the part I struggle with.
How do we actually know what obsessions we have — and can sustain — if we don’t at least try them out?
The advice is perfect for those who have obsessions in mind — great! Double down and get to work, Tim’s advice is perfect for you!
But if you don’t — like I didn’t — read on.
What of those who are unsure?
I’m speaking from experience, I’ve tried/am trying out things I think/thought were obsessions for me, and it turns out they’re actually sub-obsessions.
I still do them, but I personally don’t feel — in their current form — are things I want to be doing forever, or intensely — and that’s ok!
Sub-obsessions
Obsessions being the pinnacle you want to aim for, those things you do that don’t turn out to be obsessions = sub-obsessions
Things you’re more than happy doing casually and/or don’t have the desire to take to the ends of the Earth.
E.g. I run a lot and love marathons. I believe it’s a sub-obsession as when I tried to train super hard — like my whole life becomes my training — I lost that initial enjoyment.
Video editing was an obsession which I doubled down on.
But as time went on, I realised that within the discipline I didn’t obsess about every aspect.
I loved specific niches of video editing which I could obsess over.
Going sideways instead of down
Obsessing over something doesn’t mean you have to like every aspect.
You can go sideways and find aspects you do like then double down on that!
Drilling down deep on something you hate is a recipe for misery.
Instead, can you go sideways and find something in that discipline that DOES spark enjoyment?
Being indecisive
Indecision can actually lead to happiness — I wrote about that here.
My main issue is how are you going to know something is REALLY an obsession until you try it for a good chunk of time?
Let alone how will you know you enjoy something if you don’t try it?
Tim calls following your interests ‘cliché’, I believe it is, but it’s the best way to be a stepping stone to figuring out the obsession.
You’ve got to try things
I flip-flopped from multiple things until I found video editing which then BECAME the obsession at the time which landed me my full-time job.
I didn’t one day wake up and decide ‘Well I guess this is what I’m interested in now’.
I cultivated it through trial and error — I just liked the error so much that I stuck with it.
Creating the mindset
I understand Tim wants you to create the habit of following your obsessions.
This I agree with, if you can learn how to double-down on the biggest ROI things that’ll take you far.
We do ‘wander aimlessly through life’ a lot of the time.
We can do that, but as soon as you get the indicator that something could become an obsession, try it out for size, if it passes that test then congrats, start to double down.
If it doesn’t, congrats also, you have yourself a sub-obsession which can also contribute to an awesome life!
How to apply to your life
- Follow your interests, first of all, figure out what you like.
- If you can’t see yourself not doing it for an extended period, you might have an obsession on your hands.
- Double down for a while, how does it feel? You won’t like everything, but if the fire is still there for niches of it, great! Keep going and building.
- If it turns out it’s not, then you have a sub-obsession, also great! be comfortable with doing it to the level you want, or go back to step one.
- Not everything will be an obsession and nor should it be!
- Don’t chase shiny objects all the time, try them by all means, but double down when you feel that spark.
